Chapter 46: The Breakdown of the Old Chen Family Barber

"Why not just take him in there and put a bullet in him? It would be perfect for Tie-zhu to take over as the mountain guard."

Er-gou couldn't help but ask Zhang Huacheng once they were back inside.

"No rush. We'll find an opportunity in a few days. Regardless, we’re the mountain guards now, so hunting and selling our goods will be completely legitimate from here on out. It would be simple enough to have Tie-zhu take over, but his parents would be a hundred times more troublesome than Chen Biao."

Zhang Huacheng had considered a direct solution, but if Tie-zhu took his place, he feared Chen Youde and his wife would watch their every move—even if it meant staying awake all night—just to swoop in and snatch whatever game they managed to catch.

"I’m just worried that if we land a big haul, the brigade will get greedy and force us to sell it to them at a pittance. A previous guard caught a wolf, and the brigade took it away for forty yuan, barely covering the cost of the pelt," Er-gou warned. There were plenty of black-hearted people in Chentang Sanliqu.

Many were all too eager to abuse their small slivers of power. When a previous guard refused to sell, the brigade had simply called in the commune cadres to force the issue.

"We’ll stick to our old rule: we wait until they find out on their own."

Zhang Huacheng wanted the status of a mountain guard solely to hunt legally; as for the game itself, he had plenty of ways to handle it.

Glancing at the sky, Zhang Huacheng smiled. "We’re heading into the mountains shortly. Now that we’re the official guards, no one can say a word. If we’re lucky, we might run into a wolf pack on the way, bag a few, and then move on to the red deer."

"And Tie-zhu?"

"Tell him to follow along quietly."

The reason for not letting Tie-zhu become a guard yet was that his parents would undoubtedly come to seize the bounty and cause a scene. As long as Tie-zhu wasn't a guard, he would have nothing to do with it.

"Got it!" Er-gou nodded.

Tie-zhu returned shortly after, knowing they needed to head into the mountains early.

Over the last few days, they had scouted the red deer's habitat. It was quite a distance from their current location, but there was a herd of about twenty—a significant size.

Before the sun had even set, Zhang Huacheng and Er-gou shouldered their rifles and headed into the mountains. Tie-zhu followed stealthily close behind.

Chen Youde noticed his son had been eating less lately and was frequently out of the house. Finding him at home even once in a while was a rarity, and tonight, he hadn't returned even though it was time for dinner.

"Is Tie-zhu acting a bit strange lately?" Chen Youde wondered aloud to his wife.

"Is he?" Sun Li continued eating without looking up; she couldn't care less about Tie-zhu.

"Yes, something is definitely up. I'm going to go look for him and see what he’s actually doing."

The more Chen Youde thought about it, the more suspicious he became. He kept feeling like this had something to do with Zhang Huacheng. Were they hiding something from him?

"What are you looking for? Aside from staring at Tie-zhu, what else can you do? Did you see that the neighbors bought a flatbed cart? It’s brand new, better than ours."

"Is that so?"

"And both the adults and the children are wearing new cotton-padded clothes and trousers. Even Zhang Huchen’s kids have new clothes and shoes. Have you thought about how much that costs? Where is the money coming from?" Sun Li sneered.

"Wait a minute, let me think this through!" Chen Youde’s eyes lit up.

"Think what through? Now that he’s a mountain guard, he’s so proactive about it, and his house smells like meat every single day. Don't you get it? Someone from the Zhang family is definitely taking him into the mountains to poach."

"Ah? Damn it, no wonder little Huacheng is so eager! Forget it, I’m going to go tell Chen Gonglin about this!"

Chen Youde slapped his thigh in realization and began cursing. He knew there was something wrong with little Huacheng’s family! He stopped eating; the bland, watery soup suddenly tasted like nothing.

Chen Gonglin was at home having dinner when Chen Youde pushed his way in. Gonglin found him insufferable; the man had no real work to do and spent all his time reporting one person or another.

"Eating, I see." Chen Youde glanced at the scrambled eggs and couldn't help but swallow his saliva.

"What do you want?" Chen Gonglin set down his chopsticks, his appetite ruined.

He used to be polite to Chen Youde, but every time Chen Youde would just sit down and start eating without an invitation. Naturally, he wasn't going to ask if he’d eaten or if he wanted to join him.

"I have something, something big!" Chen Youde immediately launched into an account of the situation at Zhang Huacheng’s house.

"Do you want to be the mountain guard?"

"Huh?"

"If you want to be the mountain guard, go hunt whatever you like. Huacheng is the guard now; stop coming here every day with your baseless reports. If he loses his position, are you going to take it? If the Zhang family really dares to head into the mountains in the dead of winter to hunt, we should be cheering them on! Where is your brain? What is even inside that head of yours?"

Chen Gonglin had reached his limit. They had finally resolved the mountain guard issue, and this fool was still running around reporting people? And without any evidence—it was all conjecture!

"But... isn't that profiteering?" Chen Youde was left speechless.

"Do you have evidence?"

"Did you see them poaching?"

"Are you a barber?"

"Are you going to be the mountain guard?"

"Get out!"

Chen Youde was kicked out, bewildered and insulted. His face turned red with anger, and as he watched the door slam shut with a loud *bang*, he could only trudge home while muttering curses.

"Are all these people insane?" Chen Gonglin sat back down, fuming, and asked his wife.

"Which one of you Chens isn't crazy?"

"Just eat!"

Hardly had they started eating again when a knocking sounded at the door, followed by a drunken voice.

"Gonglin!"

"Open the door, why is it locked?"

Chen Gonglin felt a headache coming on. It was Chen Yuanqiao.

Chen Yuanqiao was Chen Gonglin’s cousin-uncle and the only barber in Chentang Sanliqu.

"See? Here comes another one from your Chen family who’s not quite right in the head. You’re a minor official with nothing but trouble, and I can't even eat a meal in peace." Gonglin’s wife mocked him and turned to head to the bedroom.

"Gonglin! Gonglin, you judge for me! Is my haircutting good or not!"

As soon as the door opened, Chen Yuanqiao stumbled in, his face flushed.

"Your uncle has been a barber in Chentang Sanliqu for twelve years! Even people from the neighboring brigades come to find me! I’m famous far and wide!"

"And what the hell is that little Huacheng? Tell me, Gonglin, tell me, is your uncle’s cutting good or not!"

"Ah!"

"Say something!"

Chen Gonglin took a deep breath, forced a smile, and said, "Uncle, little Huacheng doesn't cut hair in Chentang Sanliqu. He goes to the county town. Even when people beg him to cut theirs, he refuses."

That only made things worse. As soon as he finished speaking, Chen Yuanqiao burst into tears, snot and tears streaming down his face.

"He doesn't cut hair, but everyone keeps coming to me asking for this and that—'little pot lids,' 'princess cuts.' They tell me to go look at the hairstyles of the kids in Huacheng's house to learn! Damn it all, I studied it for half a day and tried it on my daughter-in-law, and now she’s crying and demanding a divorce, saying she looks like a ghost!"

"And there's something else... the 'Hu Delu' style. Yes, that's it, the 'Hu Delu' style! They say all the barbers in the big city know how to do it! Ah? Ah? Gonglin, I've lived my whole life—what is all this nonsense?"

"Look, look at what my daughter-in-law did to me, she scratched me like a ghost! Bah!" Chen Yuanqiao pointed to his clawed-up face.

"I went to ask little Huacheng what was going on, and he told me to change my name to Hu Delu, or maybe 'Tony.' Ah? Ah? What is all this? And then he started talking about face shapes—you have to look at face shape to cut hair?"

Chen Gonglin rubbed his temples and let out a long sigh.

They were all truly insane!