Chapter 30: Wasted! The Has-been Is Wasted Again! A Simple Display of Skill Leaves Everyone Stunned! [Monthly Votes Requested]

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【???】
【Holy! Cow!】
【He... he actually fell into the mud pit?!】
【Qian-bao is literally risking his life to be funny!】
【Damn! I can’t take it anymore. Is this show determined to laugh the audience to death?】
【I just tuned in and saw Qian-bao flying through the air. Is this the set of Fast & Furious?】
【Hahahaha *hic*!】
【Please, I really can’t laugh anymore!】
【In the past, seeing a scene like this would trigger my sympathy, but this show has trained me so well that my first reaction to a 'live broadcast accident' is genuine, heartfelt laughter!】
【Laughing your head off? Hurry up and save Qian-bao, damn it!】
【Are Meganies still not dropping him as an idol? An idol who embarrasses himself like this is better off just quitting!】

"Why did you have to run in this direction of all places!" The director, panting as he rushed over, said in horror: "This is our primitive mud pit for extraction. Falling in with that much momentum will drown you!"

"Is that even something a human would say?" Lu Ming cursed: "He was trying to run me over; was I supposed to pick a spot with good feng shui before deciding where to run?"

Director: "...... My bad!"

"The priority now is to get him out. A mud pit is not a water hole; if he struggles randomly in there, he really will suffocate!"

The good news was that the blazing sun had been baking the area for a while, causing the thin mud to harden, so he hadn't sunk too deep. Plus, the production team's excavator was nearby, so they wouldn't miss the optimal rescue window.

Before long, a humanoid creature—completely black except for a pair of bright, blinking eyes—was hoisted up.

【Pfft, hahahaha!】
【That’s a human, right?】
【The most desperate episode for Meganies!】

Wu Qian’s head was spinning. Catching a glimpse of everyone trying to hold back their laughter, he silently moved into the middle of the crowd.

Brother Chao comforted him: "As long as you're okay!"

"This is too dangerous. Young people shouldn't have such a hot temper. You need to rein it in, or you’ll easily suffer for it later!" Wang Baoqiang consoled him with earnest advice.

Wu Qian: "......"

What the hell is even going on?!

"Hey, Bor, that wild man from Africa, my brother Wu Qian just fell into the mud pit too. Did you see him down there?" Lu Ming said out of the blue.

Wu Qian: "......"

"Do you want to die?!"

"Ah!" Lu Ming feigned shock: "Such a familiar voice. Isn't that my brother Qian-bao?"

Lu Ming looked the young man up and down and sighed: "Haven't seen you for a short while, and you've already changed species. Bro, with this skill of shifting your identity, you’re definitely going to have a career in the future!"

Reba blinked: "What kind of career?"

"A career in the circus!"

Baby: "Pfft!!"

The others couldn't help but laugh as well. This kid is too mean. Qian-bao is already miserable, and he’s still roasting him...

"F*** you!" Wu Qian glared, swearing immediately.

Lu Ming looked displeased: "Your behavior is a total disgrace to us idols. As your senior, I am ashamed to be associated with you! I strongly call on netizens to boycott low-quality idols!"

Wu Qian cursed: "You’re a D-list nobody, and you’re here making calls for boycotts? Don’t you have any self-awareness of how irrelevant you are?"

"Bao, you’re unrecognizable now, you've turned into a mud ball. If I'm irrelevant, can I even be as irrelevant as you?" Lu Ming sneered.

"Bao your mother! Do you believe I’ll kill you right now?!"

"......"

"Alright, alright. Since Qian-er is fine, go take a shower in the room and then we can start." Brother Chao looked at the time and hurriedly interrupted their bickering.

"No need to wash. Aren't we going into the mud pit later anyway? Let's just stay like this!" Wu Qian recalled all the accidents he had experienced today, his eyes fixed on Lu Ming with no trace of social etiquette, only the desire to destroy the other person: "I have nothing left to care about anymore!"

"Exactly!" Lu Ming took an unopened bottle of Erguotou from his pocket, twisted it open, and took two big gulps: "I have nothing left to lose either!"

Everyone: "......"

With the mental state these two are in, they felt like someone might actually lose their life at any moment!

The group headed toward the nearby game location.

The sun was high in the sky, and the temperature was stiflingly hot. Under the scorching heat, everyone’s mood was inevitably a bit flat. However, Lu Ming kept guzzling alcohol along the way. Reba walked beside him and tried to strike up a conversation, but seeing that his mind was entirely on the liquor, she lost the desire to talk.

【Ding! Detected host drinking 'Erguotou', "Basic Singing Ability" +20!】
【Ding! Detected...】
【Ding! Detected host in a moderately intoxicated state, "Basic Singing Ability" +50!】

Not a bad haul!
At this rate, reaching LV4 in basic singing ability shouldn't take too long.

By then, he could just casually show off on any music variety show, and his singing would crush the experienced judges on stage. The beautiful scene of that, just thinking about it, was exciting!

Especially those peers who held biases against him, and the haters online who constantly criticized him as a 'beautiful piece of trash'—wouldn't they have a mental breakdown on the spot?

The alcohol's numbing effect made Lu Ming's vision slightly blurry, and his steps grew light. Feeling his singing foundation, which had been at LV3 for a while, consolidate further, he felt inspired. He cleared his throat sharply, startling those around him, and then sang with great joy:

"In the distant East, there is a river~"
"Its name is the Yangtze River~"

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"In the distant East, there is another river~"
"Its name is the Yellow River~"
"In the ancient East, there is a dragon~"
"Its name is China~"

Baby: "???"
Reba: "???"
Everyone: "???"

【Friendly fire! Stop singing!】
【What’s the deal with this guy suddenly starting to sing?】
【Wait, why haven't I heard this song before!】
【His live performance is actually not bad. How come his voice didn't crack like it usually does?】
【As a vocal major student, I’m shocked. I even doubted if my ears were broken. His breath control in this impromptu live is steadier than our school's instructors, and his pitch is quite precise. If his foundation wasn't solid, he wouldn't have this kind of sound. Just based on these few lyrics, personal style aside, in terms of technique, it feels like the level of many music show judges!】
【How much for a comment? Let's all make some money together!】
【I don't know, and I don't dare to ask. The news that a D-list star can actually sing is as shocking to me as a support player getting a pentakill!】
【He can sing? My foot. It looks like he learned a little bit of fluff from somewhere. He only prepared these few lines and has probably been waiting for a chance to show off on camera. This low-life really managed to act cool this time!】
【If anyone actually believes a D-list star can sing, why not go listen to "Borrowing Money" and then come back to share your opinion.】
【"Borrowing Money" will overturn your understanding of singing!】
【......】

Lu Ming's sudden display caused quite a stir in the comments. Since the live stream was popular, many professionals noticed something unusual and began to look at Lu Ming with newfound admiration. However, the haters attributed it to Lu Ming being clever, firmly stating: "What can you tell from just a few lines of lyrics? A small sample size has no reference value!"

Many people found this explanation acceptable.
If this D-list star were truly that capable, the money-grubbing Huayue Entertainment would have already released an album to cash in on him during his peak, rather than waiting for him to fall to the point of feeding on 'hater traffic'.
No one wanted to believe that the keywords 'beautiful piece of trash' and 'talent' could be combined.

"Are these lyrics your original work?" Baby's eyes lit up.
Reba's eyes sparkled: "It's quite rhythmic, and it sounds very positive. Is there a second half?"

"Just improvised it on a whim," Lu Ming answered casually.

Hearing this, even the eyes of Brother Chao and the others changed.
Although none of them were singers, they had seen enough to have basic appreciation skills. These lyrics were catchy, and they all got the positive energy in them. Once perfected by a big-name composer in the music industry, just based on the catchiness and the positive meaning, it would at least be a hit pop song!

Seeing everyone's strange expressions, Lu Ming held his head high, his expression arrogant:
"It’s just a little bit of talent, not worth mentioning!"

Wu Qian: "???"
F*** you. I’m the proud leader of OX, an idol from a top-tier Asian boy group. Have I ever shown off my glorious credentials like that? Now, a nobody is not only pretending to be a singer in front of me, but he’s also acting all cocky?!
Who can tolerate this!
Trying to show off skills, huh? Your Brother Qian’s improvisation isn't half bad either!

Wu Qian immediately spat out a rap rhyme:
"Look at this bowl, it's big and round!"
"Just like these noodles, they're long and wide!"

Lu Ming: "???"
Everyone: "???"

"Qian-er, what are you doing?" Deng Chao asked, confused.
The others also had question marks on their faces.

"My brother might be hallucinating from hunger and starting to miss my Nine-Turn Intestines. Bao, don't worry, I'll make it for you tonight. You want noodles, right? I'll cook them for you in the concentrated broth of my Nine-Turn Intestines. I'll just cook a bowl of whatever you just said..." Lu Ming paused: "Big Bowl Wide Noodles!"

Wu Qian: "......"
F*** you, you uncultured old geezers, do you understand art at all?!
This is called single-rhyme, it's very cool in the peninsula rapper circle, okay!

Clearly, no one had any desire to appreciate Wu Qian’s overly avant-garde impromptu rap. Wu Qian, full of pent-up anger, watched Baby and Reba chatting with Lu Ming about his impromptu live performance, and he felt terrible.
Keep acting, keep acting. I’ll make sure you have a hard time later!

...

Before long, the members of the Running Man group arrived in front of a massive mud pit. Compared to the big pit the production team used for mud extraction earlier, this artificially constructed mud pit was full of thin, sloppy mud.

In his moderately intoxicated state, Lu Ming felt like he was floating. To outsiders, he was swaying as he walked, and his eyes showed a slight, drunken haze.

The director held a megaphone and explained the rules.

【Mud Pit Battle】
【Rules】: Before the music stops, the member who is finally standing on the tumbler wins. The winner will only be an observer in the next game round. Once all three members of any team win, the game ends!
【Reward】: The final winning team will receive a vital clue card, so please do your best!

After the rules were read, everyone indicated they understood.
During the preparation phase, Lu Ming stood on the edge of the mud pit, looking at the scene inside.
Teacher Huang and Wu Qian, filled with malice, seized the opportunity and pounced on him from left and right like hungry wolves hunting prey!

Lu Ming looked back and realized it was too late to dodge. Before receiving the massive push, he grabbed both of them, who were still on the bank.

'Splash!'

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All three fell into the mud pit together.
Wu Qian, whose body was already caked in dried mud, treated it as a shower. He scrambled up from the mud pit and charged at Lu Ming, clawing and scratching: "You nobody!!"

"Hey, what are you doing!" Lu Ming let out a strange cry.
In the next second, the two were brawling in the mud pit, leaving the others dumbfounded!

However, Wu Qian, fighting alone, was no match for Lu Ming. He was handled mercilessly, like a squealing little chick.
As for Teacher Huang, it wasn't that he didn't want to help, but his old, stiff limbs weren't as agile as the young ones. From the moment he fell into the mud pit, he looked just like a landlubber swimming for the first time, flailing his arms and legs in the mud, unable to even straighten his back. If Brother Chao hadn't jumped in to help in time, Teacher Huang might have drowned in the mud water on the spot!

The director and the production team's writers looked at each other.
They didn't even need to shout 'start'. These three guest stars had jumped in on their own to warm up the scene. Who said guest stars wouldn't let loose?
The regular MCs they had carefully selected looked as green as new recruits in front of these three!

"Boom, sha-ka-la-ka, boom, sha-ka-la-ka~"
As a dynamic DJ track played, the other members of the Running Man group also jumped into the mud pit.
Ignoring the two idols fighting until they forgot everything else, everyone sprinted toward the tumbler in the distance.
But because the mud pit was so slippery, people kept falling into the mud during the pushing and pulling, eating mouthfuls of mud. Their disheveled state was quite hilarious. Baby and Reba were even choked, crouching down and spitting out the mud water that had accidentally entered their mouths.

【???】
【This is playing a bit too hard, isn't it!】
【This is what you call a variety show! It really got me hyped!】
【Oh no, Reba ate a mouthful of mud and is choking!】
【The production team really doesn't treat stars like humans. Reba and Baby are goddesses of the internal entertainment industry who rely on their looks to eat, and making them look all dirty on camera affects their image so much!】
【Exactly. Even if you have to do a show in a mud pit, you should at least wear protective gear and masks to ensure mud doesn't get into the mouth and nose. The mud water is full of bacteria; getting it on your body will definitely affect your skin health, and eating it is even more dangerous. At best you get sick, at worst you get your stomach pumped. How dangerous!】
【When you say that, did you consider the two idols who rely purely on their looks?】
【Why don't you look at the nobody and Wu Qian before speaking up for your own idols?】

The reminded netizens took a closer look.
Good heavens!
The two big idols had started fighting the moment they jumped into the mud pit. At this point, not only had they not stopped, but they were fighting even more fiercely. Lu Ming mounted Wu Qian, sat on him, and used his mud-covered hands to slap his handsome face wildly!
With hands 'enchanted' by the mud, the 'piapia' sound of the slaps sounded painful even through the screen!

In front of the screen, the Meganies' little hearts trembled, and they teared up instantly: "Let go of Gege! You nobody, let go of Gege, damn it!"

Wu Qian was slapped until he saw stars. Using the slipperiness of the mud, he did a roll and used a headbutt to knock Lu Ming into the mud. Then, with a roar, he grabbed his arm and took a wild bite!

"Ah!" Lu Ming felt the pain, pushed Wu Qian away, and then curled his legs and kicked out—

"Blech!!!"

Wu Qian spat out a mouthful of mud on the spot, and then, using the slippery terrain of the mud pit, he was kicked flying two meters away!
The heavily intoxicated Lu Ming flipped up, wobbling. Walking with light, unsteady steps, he caught up to Wu Qian and began kicking the youth lying in the mud pit recklessly. Wu Qian was kicked into spinning in place. This explosive scene looked like a spinning top!
Yes, a spinning top!
The idol god who was usually high above, whose handsome image could fascinate thousands of girls, was now being kicked like a spinning top!

【I'm stunned!】
【Are they planning to record only this one variety show in their lives?】
【No idol baggage, no star halo, only the purest, most personal vendetta!】

"This..."
"They really want to kill each other!"

The Running Man group looked at Wu Qian and Lu Ming, who looked like they were ready for a life-or-death battle, and their faces were twitching, their heads buzzing.
If the two young ones were like this, if they still kept up their facades and cared about idol baggage, wouldn't that be hypocritical?
Thinking this, everyone let go of their bottom lines and went all out!

"Baby, you go first, I'll hold them back!" Brother Chao grabbed the Big Black Cow (Li Chen) and shouted.
Influenced by Lu Ming and Wu Qian, the two female stars, who were usually beautiful on camera, also had their competitive spirits ignited.
Baby acted like a tomboy, punching Reba and kicking Chen Chichi, climbing onto the tumbler at the first opportunity and holding onto the pole for dear life.
However, because the tumbler could sway, Li Chen pulled it level, and Baby naturally fell into the mud pit, only to be overtaken by Chen Chichi.
Deng Chao didn't go soft on Chen Chichi, rushing up to hug his neck, even kicking his legs into him. Within 2 seconds, both of them fell into the mud pit.
Reba tried several times, but in the chaos, someone kicked her in the forehead. Reba fell to the ground in pain. This scene was captured clearly in a close-up, but she stood up from the mud without a care, not acting coy at all because of the injury, and squeezed inside with all her might.

The live stream was already filled with 'heartbroken' comments.

"Help... someone, damn it, save me!"
Wu Qian called out to his teammates weakly.
Chen Chichi saw he couldn't compete and hurried to save Wu Qian. Teacher Huang of the Red Team saw Baby standing on the tumbler again, with Deng Chao covering, and walked toward Wu Qian.

"Teacher Huang, protect Baby."
"You protect her, I'm going to deal with the nobody!"
Deng Chao: "......"