Chapter 31: Drunken Madness! The Fool Strikes Again! 【Please Continue Reading】

"You obscure bottom-feeder!" Teacher Huang grabbed a massive handful of sludge from the ground and, using every ounce of his strength, hurled it at Lu Ming. Seeing the glob of mud splatter across Lu Ming’s body, he looked exhilarated. He stuck out his tongue and let out a bizarre, cackling laugh: "Hoo-hoo-hoo, Uncle is going to take you down now!"

"You’re bordering on perverted, you know that?" Lu Ming looked at Teacher Huang with disdain. Seeing Baby clinging tightly to the pole of the roly-poly toy and refusing to let go, while his own teammates, Reba and Wang Baoqiang, were struggling in vain to squeeze on, Lu Ming had no choice but to let go of Wu Qian and quickly rethink his strategy.

*Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh!*

Teacher Huang threw several more globs of mud.

Lu Ming dodged nimbly, a sudden flash of inspiration hitting him: "Got it!"

While drunk earlier, he had drawn a professional-level throwing skill. He hadn't thought to use it while brawling with Wu Qian, but now, spurred by Teacher Huang’s reminder, Lu Ming scooped up a pile of sludge from the ground.

Aim, throw—all in one fluid motion!

"Hahahaha!" Teacher Huang was still gloating over his successful sneak attack, but the very next second, a massive glob of mud *splat* right onto his face, covering his entire old mug in slime. His wild laughter came to an abrupt halt: "Oh! My eyes, there’s mud in my eyes!"

Wu Qian had just stood up from the mud, shouting, "You obscure—" *Gag...*

*Cough, cough, cough...*

*Hah—ptui!*

Before he could finish, a glob of mud suddenly appeared in his mouth, directly blocking his throat. Wu Qian began to cough violently, retching uncontrollably.

Lu Ming looked at his own hands in disbelief. This feeling of total mastery—it felt freaking amazing!

Is this a mud pit? No, this is heaven!

Carried by a thick haze of intoxication, Lu Ming felt refreshed and was absolutely hyped up!

Taking advantage of the slick bottom of the mud pit, Lu Ming lunged forward. While enjoying the silky-smooth movement, he scooped up handful after handful of mud, firing them like a machine gun at the "disaster zone" where everyone was pushing and shoving around the roly-poly toy!

Deng Chao was in the middle of talking when a glob of mud was shoved into his mouth: "Wah, ptui! I got a mouthful of mud, what is going on?!"

Lu Ming said nothing, just relentlessly gathering ammo and firing wildly!

Mud flew at his face like it was free. A panicked Chao-ge was pelted so hard he couldn't even open his eyes. His face was a muddy, dripping mess. He thought he had encountered a terrorist attack and scrambled away blindly, but every glob of mud thrown his way landed with pinpoint accuracy on his face.

Deng Chao could no longer tell if it was mud or tears on his face, only shouting, "Stop, stop, stop it..."

"Hahahaha!" Baby laughed at Chao-ge’s miserable state.

The next second, *splat*!

The moment the mud exploded on her face, her vision went black and her mind went blank.

*Thump!*

Baby, the only one standing on the platform, fell into the mud. The director, who was just about to press pause to confirm the winner, had no choice but to let the DJ keep the music playing.

Li Chen and Chen Chichi were not spared either; they were both rendered unrecognizable by the mud Lu Ming flung at them.

The irritable "Big Black Bull," seeing how cheeky this bottom-feeder was, charged forward through the mud barrage: "You little brat, you’d better hope I don't catch you!"

"Lu Ming! You're in for it, you're in big trouble!" Chen Chichi pointed at Lu Ming, shouting.

Wu Qian: "Let's pin him down together!"

Teacher Huang: "Forget about winning for now, get the bottom-feeder first!"

Hearing their calls, everyone surged toward Lu Ming with aggressive momentum, scooping up mud to fight back. But Lu Ming’s hands were like an automated catapult—scoop and fire, fire and scoop, without a moment’s hesitation. Especially the way he crouched and sprinted across the slippery mud—it was no different from skating on ice.

Such efficient maneuvering helped him dodge almost all the mud thrown by the group. Instead, the people surrounding him ended up with mud-blinded eyes, tripping over their own feet and tumbling through the mud, looking utterly pathetic.

*Whoosh!*

Another glob of mud bloomed on Baby’s pretty face. She lost her balance and lunged forward, face-planting into a thick pile of mud, choking back tears on the spot...

*Boom! Chicka-lacka! Boom! Chicka-lacka!*

Amidst the DJ’s manic roar, Lu Ming was in high spirits, dancing through the mud like a performer. Despite being covered in sticky sludge, his vigorous posture and carefree movements gave him a natural, wild charisma at that moment.

[Wait, how is he so bold?!]

[Even as a man, I think he looks incredibly cool right now!]

[I'm dying of laughter! This guy is like a Peashooter...]

[Peashooter? This is a machine-gunner!]

Wang Baoqiang and Reba, who were running over to help, were stunned by the sight.

"This brother is too fierce!" Reba exclaimed.

Wang Baoqiang was ecstatic: "Who said he’s a bottom-feeder? This guy is amazing!"

"He’s so cool!" Reba’s beautiful eyes sparkled.

Wang Baoqiang: "...His face is covered in mud, where do you see the 'cool'?"

"Uncle, you don't understand. Cool is a feeling, just like this!" Reba stared at Lu Ming, who was fighting against the wind and leaving the 'Brotherhood' team wailing in his wake.

"Don't come over here, I can handle this alone!" Lu Ming, fighting six people at once, continued his wild kiting while calling out to his teammates: "You two just stay on the platform and secure the win!"

Reba and Wang Baoqiang stood on the roly-poly toy, one on each side. Although it tilted due to their weight, they didn't fall off.

Normally, the roly-poly toy could only stay stable with one person on it, so everyone assumed only one member could win per round. But with Lu Ming causing such chaos, if no one interfered, it was possible for two people to stand on the toy and win together!

As he moved with swagger, Lu Ming’s drunkenness took over. As his thoughts became increasingly jumbled, he heroically issued a request for more friendly verbal interaction beyond just physical contact:

"Standing before you is the number one ADC of the Chinese entertainment industry, the strongest marksman on the server, the King of the League, the hundred-star King of Honor of Kings!"

"The blade isn't sharp and the horse is too thin, how do you expect to fight me!"

"Eat mud!!"

Deng Chao was suddenly hit by a glob of mud on the forehead, looking dazed: "It feels like something is on fire!"

"It's not on fire, he's just acting up!" Chen Chichi gritted his teeth.

"Ahhhhh!" Li Chen roared as he closed in, but the bottom-feeder was like a loach; he couldn't be caught. After a wave of maneuvers, Li Chen ended up getting a mouthful of mud himself. Worse, the carefree Lu Ming stopped nearby, expression cold: "Apprentices!"

Li Chen: "??!"

"Ahhhhh!"

"Kill the bottom-feeder!!"

...

In an instant, members of both teams were burning with rage, charging toward Lu Ming like madmen!

"Society has no towering trees, remember the name Lu Ming. Chichi, stop now, your QQ Farm just sent a notification saying your crops are dead!"

Chen Chichi: "?!"

"If you can't hit me from this distance, I suggest Qian-bao calls the 10068668 hotline for prosthetic installation. Three-year returns, five-year warranty—if it doesn't work, it's free!"

Wu Qian: "?!"

"The weather is too hot and tempers are short, don't mess with me unless you want to see me smile. Teacher Huang, be careful if you keep acting wild, or I'll bully an old man!"

Teacher Huang: "!!!"

At this moment, the flush of shame on their faces spoke louder than any words. Everyone had only three letters in their hearts.

CNM!!!

[Hahahaha!]

[Oh, I can't take it, I’m going to pee myself laughing at this bottom-feeder!]

[This guy has a set of insults ready for everything. What is even in his brain?!]

[No bottlenecks at all, I'm jealous of his talent!]

[A man is seven parts drunk and acts until you shed tears; a bottom-feeder is seven parts drunk and acts until you 'shed tears'!]

[Is this guy playing the bio-hazard mode of CrossFire?!]

[Does he not even need to aim? Can he get a headshot just by throwing randomly?!]

[I didn't expect him to have this kind of talent.]

[Auto-aim + lock-on + script movement, is he not even pretending anymore?]

[Is playing well considered cheating?]

[It's not about the stats, it's all sweat and effort. Hitting a stationary target with mud is hard enough, but hitting moving targets without missing once while sliding? The gold content of this accuracy needs no explanation.]

[Good news: the bottom-feeder has skills. Bad news: his skills aren't in the same league as the rest of the entertainment industry!]

[Is this still a variety show?]

[This is too insane!]

"Split up!"

"Reba and Baoqiang are about to win!"

"Let them win! We can lose the game, but the bottom-feeder must die!"

The group, fueled by anger, scattered and surrounded him from different directions.

Before long, Lu Ming was trapped in the middle. The "Big Black Bull" launched a flying shoulder charge, knocking Lu Ming into the mud. The other guests swarmed him, and even Baby grabbed two globs of mud and smeared them on Lu Ming’s face to get her revenge!

[Ding! Detected the host is deeply intoxicated, Vocal Foundation +88!]

[Vocal Foundation advanced to Lv4!]

As the alcohol continued to surge through his body, his drunkenness threshold reached 'deep.' In his daze, Lu Ming, pinned in the mud, felt a jolt and was overjoyed.

Finally, he had ground out the proficiency needed for the next level of his vocal foundation!

Level 4 vocal skills were better than those of veteran singers in the industry who had accumulated ten or twenty years of experience. Even compared to the heavenly kings and queens who defined an era, technique-wise, he was absolutely on par!

As long as he had good lyrics and music, becoming a musical king of this era was a done deal!

As for good lyrics and music?

He had an entire world's worth of music library in his head!

...

Reba looked anxious: "Why hasn't the director called for a timeout yet!"

"Yeah, it's been so long!" Wang Baoqiang jumped off the platform, intending to help his good teammate.

Just then, a sudden change in the distance made both of them stare!

Even the production team, who had been watching from the shore, had their eyes wide open!

"The wind and snow have pressed down on me for two or three years, I laugh at the wind and snow, light as cotton. It’s time to show off some real technique!!"

Lu Ming, completely drunk, let out a passionate growl, then executed a fierce sweep of his leg, instantly knocking everyone around him into the mud, where they floundered helplessly...

The visual impact of this scene was absolutely intense!

[The bottom-feeder isn't dead yet!]

[Holy crap!]

[Kung Fu!!!]

After the Brotherhood team stood up from the mud, they chased after Lu Ming like lunatics!

By now, the heavily intoxicated Lu Ming had completely let himself go. He ran wild in the mud, strong as an ox and slippery as a fish. One slide-tackle here, another there, he was completely insane, starting to "swim like a dragon" in the mud!

The group would sit down as soon as they tried to stand up, unable to even keep their footing. Even though the mud was soft, the repeated back-and-forth left their backsides sore, and they let out screams of agony. They struggled, crying out, looking exactly like drowning moths!

"Help me!"

"Stop sliding, Brother, I was wrong, I was really wrong!"

"I can't eat any more, I really can't eat any more, Xiao Ming... oh no, Brother Ming, please let me go, I think I'm choking on mud!"

"Bottom-feeder, stop your feet, Teacher Huang is passing out from the mud!!"

"Someone come and take this madman away!"

They wanted to escape, but they couldn't. The Big Black Bull locked Lu Ming’s ankles with his arms, and Chen Chichi simply wrapped himself around Lu Ming’s lower leg.

But Lu Ming, fueled by the alcohol, was like a wild bull. Even with both of them clinging on, he grabbed Wu Qian and Teacher Huang by one leg each, dragging all four of them through the mud like they were baby chicks. The Big Black Bull and Chichi were fine, but the dying Teacher Huang and Wu Qian truly experienced "losing face"!

...

On the shore.

"Is he even human?!"

"He's a humanoid yak!"

"Director, maybe we should wrap this up? This bottom-feeder is too terrifying. Chao-ge and the others are one thing, but Teacher Huang, with his old bones—if this continues, I'm really afraid something will happen!" the show's screenwriter warned with a worried face.

The director looked at the explosive bullet comments in the livestream, showing no pity for the guests, only a craving for traffic: "Something happen? What could possibly happen? Don't panic, keep the music playing, keep the dance going!"

"The guests have thick skin, a couple of slides won't hurt them. Being dragged around in the mud is just having fun. You, my friend, today the two of us are going to become legendary and quickly take the top spot in the industry!"

After speaking, the director silently cranked up the DJ's volume on the equipment in front of him!

The noisy BGM drowned out the guests' wailing cries for help, and also covered the conversations of other production staff nearby.

Watching the series of exaggerated data in the livestream backend that he couldn't even imagine, he was in a state of absolute pleasure. He closed his eyes, enjoying the DJ's rhythm, and then began to sway his body in ecstasy:

"Get wild, get excited!"

The previously worried screenwriter glanced at the rapidly rising data in the backend and decided to throw caution to the wind, abandoning his impulse to help and dancing happily along with the director.

Waiting for them was immense wealth!

Lu Ming, having let himself go, saw Chao-ge and his group lying in the mud, crying and refusing to get up. He lost interest in interacting with them. Seeing the director and producer on the shore swaying their hips wildly and showing no intention of calling a halt, he dumped his wailing burdens, switched targets, and sprinted toward the shore!

"That demon seems to be coming this way!" Chen Chichi said, breathless.

Deng Chao looked back: "Bad, he's charging up there to go crazy!"

Everyone: "??!"

Wasn't torturing them enough? He dared to mess with the production team too?!

Is he tired of living?!

The production staff saw Lu Ming sprinting toward them and fled to the distance, screaming at the top of their lungs: "Director, run!!"

The music was too loud; even though they were screaming their lungs out, the director and screenwriter remained oblivious, both completely immersed in their own mental worlds.

The next second, a force came from behind. They both jolted awake, and the moment they opened their eyes, the world spun.

They seemed to be... flying?

What?!

By the time they reacted, they were face-down, diving head-first into the mud pit below. They were submerged from the neck down, and after struggling for only three seconds, they went silent.

They were stiff and motionless; if you put a plaque on them, they would be indistinguishable from tombstones!

"My God!!!"

"Director—!!"

The production staff were terrified, their faces contorted in shock.

They had worked in the industry for so many years and considered themselves well-versed in the chaos of the entertainment world—guests throwing tantrums, arguing, or even fighting in private were common occurrences. But a guest daring to attack a director like this today truly overturned their common understanding.

"Quick, hurry up and fish the director out!"

"Pull his head out first! Someone jump in and pull his head out, he’ll die if he suffocates!"

"The bottom-feeder is down there, he must know he's in trouble and is trying to... Holy crap! He's still going crazy!!"

People watched in a daze as Lu Ming treated the director like a "screw," twisting him deeper and deeper into the mud. Their facial expressions were completely out of control!

The manic music at the scene was suddenly paused, and the surroundings finally fell quiet. Then, the staff swarmed in, jumping into the mud pit like dumplings, surrounding Lu Ming to contain him!

The director and screenwriter were finally pulled out of the mud pit, but they were dazed and hadn't even found their footing when they saw Lu Ming charge at them with a slide-tackle, knocking down a large group of people. His fierce momentum made their pupils shrink rapidly!

Facing dozens of staff members trying to stop him, Lu Ming performed a sweep of his leg, followed by a slide-tackle. He was like Lu Bu reborn; wherever he passed, men surrendered their knees, and women couldn't help but fall!

"Help! Me!" The director, terrified out of his wits, ran frantically, but because the mud was too slippery, he performed a face-plant.

The screenwriter was slow to run and was immediately hoisted up by Lu Ming’s slide-tackle, then *thumped* down on the director’s back.

*Hiccup!!*

The middle-aged director let out a muddy hiccup, his neck tilted to the side, and he fainted on the spot!

Lu Ming transformed into the mud-pit's Camille, completely going on a killing spree!!

"Somebody, help!"

"The bottom-feeder is crazy!"

Terrified screams echoed one after another.

It was chaos! Complete chaos!

The entire recording site was a mess!

The Brotherhood members, lying not far away in the mud, breathless and depressed from being slide-tackled, watched this chaotic scene and felt numb.

It was one thing to be tortured by the bottom-feeder, but how did the production team get dragged into it too?!

Is this even a variety show?

This is a riot!!

With the bottom-feeder acting so recklessly, how was this any different from the Monkey King wreaking havoc in Heaven?!