Chapter 35: The Show Goes Viral! Open Up, It’s Your Teammate, Wu Qian! [Requesting Monthly Tickets]

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Lu Ming bent down and saw that Teacher Huang had already been scared unconscious, his eyes rolled back until only the whites showed. He suddenly bit open the blood capsule in his mouth, then unleashed a series of hoarse, monstrous cries, gnashing wildly inside the coffin with loud, wet crunches.

The terrifying shrieks sent a sensation like countless claws scratching at the hearts of everyone watching from behind the screen.

[Holy crap!]

[I can’t watch this anymore!]

[This is way too realistic. If Mr. Vampire had been acted like this back then, it wouldn’t have been a childhood trauma—it would have been a lifelong trauma!]

[How is he even making that sound?]

[So that washed-up guy really used to work as a haunted-house NPC? His ghost noises are absolutely horrifying!]

[He’s completely lost it!]

The viewers were stunned. Faced with a scene whose visual and auditory impact had been cranked to the absolute maximum, even from behind the safety of their screens, they could not help feeling their scalps prickle.

As for how Lu Ming was producing such terrifying ghostly cries—

The auditory presentation provided by Level Three “Vocal Resonance Fundamentals” was nothing short of dimensional domination. Though he had never actually eaten pork, his solid foundation was so formidable that even improvising on the spot, he had already reached a level most NPCs in the industry could never attain in their entire lives.

Chen Chi-Chi and Wu Qian stood as if immobilized by a spell. The ferocious visual assault had caused their minds to stop functioning altogether.

Under their horrified gazes, Lu Ming gave a sharp crack, as though he had just torn something apart.

The next second, he stood upright inside the coffin, his face smeared with blood. In one hand he held a sponge arm that genuinely belonged to the dummy. He opened his enormous bloody mouth, clamped down on one of its fingers, and tore viciously.

Under the dim red lights, the instant the finger ripped free, the atmosphere of bloodshed reached its absolute peak. The visual impact was so overwhelming that Chen Chi-Chi and Wu Qian, who had witnessed everything with their own eyes, felt their legs go weak and their entire bodies tremble.

Chen Chi-Chi stammered in a quavering voice, “That was Teacher Huang’s arm!”

“It’s real! It’s real! It’s real!” Wu Qian had been scared completely senseless. Clutching his head, he bolted while screaming at the top of his lungs, “Help! There’s a ghost! There’s a ghost!”

“Ahhhhhhh!”

The two of them were utterly terrified. They summoned every last ounce of strength and darted wildly in all directions. Their hoarse, desperate screams were so intense that even the viewers behind the screen could feel their panic and despair.

Lu Ming leaped a full two meters at a time, his face drenched in blood and his oppressive presence turned all the way up.

The tense atmosphere and murky lighting left no one with the mental energy to examine the finer details. Guided by their first impressions, people instinctively believed that whatever their eyes saw must be real. And so, with Lu Ming emitting horrifying ghost cries while bouncing after them, their instinctive shrieks became the only melody in the haunted house.

“Help! Don’t eat me! Don’t eat me!”

“I don’t want to die!”

…

Outside the haunted house.

Deng Chao, captain of the Running Man team and the face of the Red Team, happened to run into Wang Baoqiang of the Blue Team. Baoqiang was carrying three boxes, while Chao was carrying four, along with a stack of mission cards. With so much in his hands, he could barely hold on to the handles.

Judging by their plentiful haul, both of them had clearly been busy for quite some time.

When they saw how much the other had acquired, both men immediately began entertaining some crooked ideas.

But the moment they heard the heart-rending commotion coming from the haunted house beside them, their expressions changed.

Deng Chao was startled. “That sounds like Qian’er.”

“And Chen Chi-Chi,” Wang Baoqiang added in confusion. “Aren’t those two supposed to be looking for clues as quickly as possible? Why are they inside having fun?”

“Judging by those screams, they seem to be getting quite a scare.” Deng Chao laughed helplessly. “What’s the saying again? Too cowardly to play, yet too fond of playing. With opponents like these, our pressure tonight will be much lighter. How about we form an alliance? We can join forces and take down the Big Black Bull’s Yellow Team first. Then it’ll all be over!”

“Sounds good to me!” Baoqiang agreed.

The two men completely ignored the cries for help from inside, assuming that the two fellows from the Yellow Team simply had a taste for suffering and were having the time of their lives.

Wang Baoqiang muttered, “Don’t be fooled by Lu Ming’s love of games and drinking. Compared to these two, he’s still reliable before he gets drunk. By the way, have you seen him?”

“Now that you mention it, I haven’t.” Deng Chao joked, “Maybe he’s in there too.”

“That can’t be. If he were there, these two wouldn’t be having such a good time.” Wang Baoqiang did not believe him. “You’ve got quite a haul. Don’t tell me all those cards are blank?”

Deng Chao put on a stern face. “With all these boxes in my hands, do you really think I don’t have anything valuable?”

“Then how about… we trade?” Wang Baoqiang’s eyes shifted. “I’ve got plenty of things in my boxes too!”

“Money in one hand, goods in the other!”

The two edged cautiously toward each other. But the instant Deng Chao handed over the mission cards, Wang Baoqiang decisively snatched the entire stack from his hands and sprinted away.

“You dare renege on the deal?” Deng Chao took off after him, abandoning even the mountain of boxes in his own hands.

Before long, he caught up with Baoqiang, who was still carrying his own pile of boxes, and cornered him against a wall. By then, however, Baoqiang had already flipped through the mission cards. Every single one was blank.

“Hahahaha! You tried to fool me with a pile of useless cards?”

“You’ve got some nerve saying that to me!” Deng Chao doubled over laughing. “Qiangzi, we agreed to form an alliance! Why didn’t you keep your word?”

Wang Baoqiang protected the name tag on his back as he edged along the wall. “I was only joking with you. How about this? I’ll compensate you with one box as a gesture of friendship!”

“Two!” Deng Chao bargained.

“Fine, take them all!”

Wang Baoqiang suddenly threw all three boxes at Deng Chao, then fled like a rocket-launching monkey.

Seeing how generous the man was, Deng Chao immediately sensed trouble. He opened the boxes, and sure enough, every one of them was blank.

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Before long, the Big Black Bull noticed what was happening and came running over.

“Chen’er, don’t start anything. I just saw your two teammates—they’re having a great time playing inside that haunted house over there.” Deng Chao pointed toward the distance as he spoke.

The Big Black Bull—Li Chen—stared at him in disbelief.

He glanced at the two boxes in his hands, wiped the sweat from his forehead, and wore an expression of utter resignation. “I knew teaming up with that bastard would bring me nothing but trouble. Fine, he slacks off by himself—but why did he drag Wu Qian into his nonsense too?”

Seeing Deng Chao empty-handed, he temporarily abandoned the idea of tearing off his name tag. No one had been eliminated yet, so even if he tore off Deng Chao’s tag, he would gain nothing. Besides, this was everyone’s first time playing, and Li Chen was wary of making a mistake.

Annoyed, Li Chen prepared to enter and reunite with his teammates. But the moment he reached the doorway, he heard the ghastly shrieks inside, along with the miserable howls of his two teammates, who sounded as though they had been scared out of their minds.

After hesitating at the entrance for a long while, the Big Black Bull silently turned around and left.

Ever since the Mustard Incident two days earlier, he had developed a deep psychological shadow regarding environments like this.

…

Inside the haunted house.

Chen Chi-Chi and Wu Qian had been screaming at the highest volume their throats could manage from beginning to end. By now, their mouths were parched and their voices hoarse; both felt as if their throats were about to smoke.

But this area had only one exit. The zombie seemed almost sentient, perpetually blocking the doorway, leaving them no way out. They could only dash around wildly inside this enclosed space, which had no second escape route.

Chen Chi-Chi watched as the zombie suddenly lunged. Its sharp claws pierced straight through his trousers, and its huge bloody mouth opened to tear into him.

He felt as though his soul were about to leave his body. In an instant, adrenaline surged through him. His overwhelming survival instinct drove him to kick the zombie away, but the tremendous force of the movement caused the zombie to yank his trousers clean off with a loud rip, exposing the black underwear beneath.

A moment later, a chilly breeze swept across his bare backside. Using both hands and feet, he scrambled and rolled toward a corner.

Just as Lu Ming came bounding toward him again, full of oppressive menace, a flash of inspiration struck the desperate Chen Chi-Chi. He suddenly covered his nose and mouth.

Lu Ming: “?”

No, seriously? You pull this at the critical moment just to show everyone how clever you are?

Since the kid had finally contributed something entertaining, Lu Ming took only a second to think before deciding to play along.

Teacher Huang had fainted from fright, not because Lu Ming had actually bitten him. Everything he had done earlier involved camera angles and feints. Besides, his mouth was full of fake plastic teeth. If one of them fell out after striking someone, the whole act would be exposed.

Thus, Lu Ming let his gaze drift about as though he had genuinely lost track of his target and could no longer see Chen Chi-Chi.

Chen Chi-Chi’s eyes lit up.

After confirming that Chen Chi-Chi was far from the doorway, Lu Ming suddenly turned toward Wu Qian and bounded over in two enormous leaps.

Wu Qian was horrified. “Don’t come over here! Don’t come over here!”

“Hold your breath! If you hold your breath, it can’t see you!” Chen Chi-Chi hurriedly warned him. After taking a breath, he immediately covered his nose and mouth again.

Wu Qian spun around and ran. But the zombie’s heavy claw had already landed on his shoulder. With a sharp rip, it tore off his short-sleeved shirt, its pointed nails even leaving a long scratch across his back.

In his frantic confusion, Qianbao tripped and went sprawling face-first onto the floor. He had no time to worry about the pain in his back. He hurriedly covered his nose and mouth, his heart leaping into his throat.

The zombie froze in confusion for a second, repeatedly sniffing the air as though searching for the scent of a living person.

Wu Qian cautiously sat up. He had just begun to rejoice at surviving a near-death experience when, in the next second, the zombie suddenly turned toward him.

A pair of bloodshot eyes locked onto him.

Wu Qian clamped both hands tightly over his nose and mouth. The strenuous exercise combined with the lack of oxygen from holding his breath made his entire face flush purple, like a red-hot cartoon character.

Lu Ming simply stared at him, curious to see how long the kid could hold out.

Wu Qian: “?”

Was this right? Was this damn thing right?!

Help!

He felt as though he was genuinely about to suffocate. But with the zombie standing directly in front of him, he did not dare lower his hands. With the oxygen deprivation becoming severe, his eyes rolled upward and his head began to buzz.

Seeing that his buddy was about to collapse, Chen Chi-Chi realized that if Wu Qian died here, he would be finished too. He hurriedly released his hands and greedily inhaled several lungfuls of fresh air.

Since Lu Ming had accepted the rule that holding one’s breath prevented detection, and since such a huge reaction had occurred behind him, continuing to target Wu Qian would arouse suspicion. Therefore, Lu Ming began bouncing toward Chen Chi-Chi instead.

Wu Qian’s eyes had become webbed with blood vessels. The instant he saw the zombie finally leave, he gulped down precious breaths of fresh air.

Having escaped death by a hair, he had only one thought in his mind:

Get out. Stay alive.

From the corner of his eye, he spotted an iron gate. Without the slightest hesitation, Wu Qian seized the precious opportunity to escape and sprinted toward it.

But his vision was blurred. He mistook one gate for another and ran in the wrong direction. The next second, he stumbled and plunged headfirst into the gap between the bars.

Lu Ming had already reached Chen Chi-Chi. Hearing a sudden crash beside him, he glanced over and saw Wu Qian’s head wedged directly between two iron bars at his side.

Lu Ming had never undergone professional training. Faced with such a ridiculous sight, his body visibly twitched. He was genuinely struggling not to burst out laughing.

The moment Wu Qian saw the zombie looking toward him, its arm outstretched and its long nails almost touching his face, he hurriedly covered his nose and mouth and held his breath.

He swore that if his powerful survival instinct had not kept him conscious, he would probably have fainted already.

Nearby, Chen Chi-Chi stared at Wu Qian in wide-eyed horror.

Buddy, I’m saving your life! Why the hell did you rush over here and drag me into this?

Originally, there had been a considerable distance between the two men. They could have alternated their breathing and maintained a little room to survive. But Wu Qian had rammed his head into the iron gate directly in front of him, reducing the distance between all three of them to less than a meter.

At that moment, every one of them was terrified out of his mind.

Lu Ming was afraid that he might laugh and blow his cover. Watching the two men desperately hold their breath until their faces turned the color of purple garlic, he was laughing wildly inside. He was having such a difficult time suppressing himself that he could barely keep his arms steady.

He dared not make a single unnecessary movement. Clenching every muscle in his body, Lu Ming forced himself to remain composed.

The other two were terrified that even the tiniest leak of air would cost them their lives on the spot.

And so, the situation froze.

[Hahahahahaha!]

[The three of them have completely entered character! How can they seriously believe that a zombie can’t see you if you stop breathing? Then again, Chen Chi-Chi deserves to be called a genius for thinking of this method of survival in an environment like this!]

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[Genius, my foot! He figured out that holding his breath makes him invisible, but he still hasn’t realized that the zombie is just a person in costume?]

[Science has proven that when people are extremely frightened, their intelligence drops to almost zero.]

[That washed-up guy is genuinely evil. He could have terrified these two half to death from beginning to end, but instead he followed the “don’t kill anyone while they’re holding their breath” rule and gave them time to recover. The way those two are crying and wetting themselves is actually painful to watch.]

[He truly understands the art of torture!]

[If this guy had lived in ancient times, he would have been a minister of the Ministry of Justice at the very least!]

[If despair could be described with a single scene, this would be it!]

[Oh my god, I can’t take it anymore! These three are absolutely killing me. I’m laughing so hard I’m about to wet myself. Help! I’m not joking—I’m genuinely going to die laughing in this livestream!]

[The sheer absurdity of this episode is enough to become a milestone in the history of domestic entertainment!]

[The washed-up guy is laughing himself into madness, while Chi-Chi and Qianbao are so terrified they’re calling for their fathers. Together, the three of them stand atop the summit of domestic entertainment!]

[That was magnificent. Reward them!]

The viewers were laughing themselves breathless.

Wu Qian trembled all over as he held his breath. Several times, he gripped the iron bars and tried to pull his head free, but the gap was too narrow. His head was completely stuck and would not come out.

Chen Chi-Chi was curled up in the corner. He wanted to stand and run, but the tall zombie stood less than half a meter away, blocking the only path to escape. He did not dare move.

He really did not dare move.

At first, Chen Chi-Chi had pinned his hopes on Wu Qian pulling his head out of the bars, creating some distance so that he could breathe and lure the zombie away.

But after watching Wu Qian try several times, his face already purple from lack of oxygen, without managing to escape, Chen Chi-Chi’s entire body went limp. He leaned against the floor.

At that moment, he thought of his parents. He thought of his relatives and friends. He thought of his entire life. He had even begun planning how he would live in his next life.

Hidden beneath the costume, Lu Ming’s face had already twisted into a knot.

These two idiots!

He was really about to lose it!

I’ve already tacitly accepted your stupid “don’t kill us while we’re holding our breath” rule. Couldn’t you throw something and lure me away?

Watching the two men prefer to suffocate rather than let out a single breath, Lu Ming genuinely feared that they would choke themselves to death on the spot.

He suddenly spun around and knocked the briefcase resting on the coffin to the floor. Then, as though he had noticed some movement, he quickly bounded toward it.

Chen Chi-Chi: “?”

Wu Qian: “!”

Heaven really wasn’t going to let the two of us die!

The pair hurriedly gulped down fresh air. At the same time, Chen Chi-Chi immediately stood up and approached Wu Qian.

“Pull yourself out!”

“I want to, but I can’t!”

Chen Chi-Chi had another flash of inspiration. When he saw Lu Ming turn his head toward them again, he immediately held his breath, retrieved two briefcases from a distance, and hurled one of them heavily to the far side as a distraction.

Lu Ming cooperated perfectly and bounded after it.

He was not actually trying to let the two men escape. He had been holding in his laughter so hard that he had nearly injured himself. If he did not find somewhere to laugh in secret, he was going to blow his cover.

Once he had moved to a spot where the two men could not see him, Lu Ming lowered his arms. Beneath the costume, his face was already grinning like an idiot.

Taking advantage of the opening, Chen Chi-Chi grabbed the briefcase and drew it back beside Wu Qian’s head. Then, under Wu Qian’s baffled gaze, he summoned every ounce of strength he possessed and smashed it down onto Wu Qian’s forehead.

Wu Qian: “?”

He had no idea where the strength came from. Acting almost entirely on instinct, he ducked his neck. The briefcase slammed into the iron gate with a tremendous crash, and his head popped free from the gap.

[???]

[I think I’ve seen this scene before!]

[A classic passed down through the ages. I suddenly thought of an old friend!]

[I never imagined that, so many years after Uncle Ying’s death, I would still get to watch such a spectacular zombie movie.]

[Now that’s the feeling! Everything is finally right!]

Wu Qian cursed, “What the hell, man! You—”

“Run!” Chen Chi-Chi sprinted toward the doorway.

The enormous crash attracted the zombie behind them. Lu Ming instantly slipped back into character, letting out a horrifying roar as he bounded after the two men.

Wu Qian felt his entire backside clench from fear. He did not dare look back and ran for his life.

Chen Chi-Chi reached the door they had entered through. But the moment he turned around, he saw the zombie suddenly launch itself forward. Its sharp claws caught Wu Qian by the ankle, and with a heavy thud, it yanked him to the floor.

Bam!

Chen Chi-Chi’s features twisted wildly with terror, and he decisively slammed the iron door shut.

Wu Qian hurriedly scrambled to his feet, tears and snot streaming down his face as he flung himself against the door and pounded on it again and again.

“Open the door! Open the door! Hurry the hell up! It’s me, your teammate Wu Qian!”

“You bastard, you’re going to get me killed! Open the door!”

…