Chapter 36: The Has-Been: Director! Come out and "collect the bodies" for the brothers! [Monthly tickets requested]-Esta celebridade ficou bêbada e surtou, fazendo toda a indústria do entretenimento chinês cair na risada!(Atualização em massa)

Chen Chichi, listening to the desperate screams behind him, was likewise scared to the point of tears and snot, crying out, "Brother, if I don't lock the door, we'll both die in there! If you turn into a zombie, please, for the love of God, don't come looking for me!"

"No, I have to find a Taoist priest the moment I get home tonight to perform a cleansing!"

...

In the room behind them.

Wu Qian, shirtless, lacked the mental capacity to ponder why the zombie wasn't biting him. Having realized there was no hope of escape, his psyche had completely shattered. Exhausted and despairing, he no longer had the strength to let out the piercing cries for help he had used earlier. With a withered spirit and a hoarse voice, he stumbled instinctively around the room, trapped with nowhere to run.

Suddenly, he noticed a large, long mahogany coffin in the distance. Previously, his nerves had been too frayed for him to observe his surroundings, but now he noticed that the lid of this massive coffin was slightly ajar!

Wu Qian’s spirits soared. He grasped at this final straw, charging toward the coffin on its dais without a second thought. He leaped inside, then nimbly kicked his legs against the edge of the lid. With a sharp "click," the coffin locked shut!

The interior was immediately plunged into total darkness!

After roaring a few more times for effect, Lu Ming fell silent.

"Finally, I'm safe..." Wu Qian let out a long, shuddering breath of relief. "To have survived that... I really am blessed with incredible luck!"

"But... now that I'm trapped in here, how am I supposed to get out?"

As he calmed down, Wu Qian looked into the pitch-black void, sinking into a new wave of distress.

Just as he was pondering his predicament, a clammy hand suddenly rested on his shoulder.

Wu Qian: ?!

"Who's there?!"

In the next second, a flashlight beam cut through the darkness. Wu Qian turned his head, his body rigid, only to see a ghastly, pale face staring right at him. The violent shock caused his blood to rush to his head; his heart seemed to stop in that very moment!

Wu Qian’s mouth flew open, and he summoned every ounce of his strength to let out a hysterical scream: "Ahhhhh!"

Unprecedented terror left him with nothing but instinctual shrieks. As his brain rapidly deprived itself of oxygen, Wu Qian’s eyes rolled back, his legs kicked out, and he fainted from sheer fright!

The female ghost: ?!

This guy is way too easy to scare!

[What was that noise?!]

[Oh no, he forgot there was someone else in the coffin. Qian-bao just walked straight into the tiger's den!]

As the coffin lid popped open with a "click," Lu Ming saw the NPC girl crawl out, blinking at him with an innocent expression.

His good brother Wu Qian lay perfectly flat inside, eyes closed, legs stiff, body tense—it was clear he had "passed on" quite a while ago.

[Holy crap, he actually fainted!]

[What a miserable guy!]

[Are these two really treating my Qian-bao like he's a Japanese soldier in a war drama?]

[The entertainment value is off the charts!]

[What entertainment value? You talentless hack! If anything happens to Qian-bao, you'll pay with your life!!]

[Even if your whole family were cremated, it wouldn't compensate for the trauma you caused Qian-bao. Happy Valley, right? I’m driving over there right now to slice you up and avenge our idol!]

[What kind of sins did Qian-bao commit to be tormented like this by such a loser?]

Thousands of fans, seeing the schadenfreude in the live chat, were pushed to their breaking point.

"Brother, I didn't do anything! I just showed my face, and he fainted right away!"

"In a minute, you'll see yourself on the trending list. Have you thought about what pose you'll use for your debut? Come on, all you marketing accounts in the stream, get your screenshots ready!" Lu Ming stepped forward to face the ceiling camera, pulling the bewildered NPC girl into the frame alongside the unconscious Qian-bao. "Celebrating you becoming the Ghost King of this Happy Valley! One, two, three, cheese!"

Though her little head was spinning, the girl instinctively flashed a peace sign, wearing a grim, eerie smile for the camera.

But immediately after, she realized this wasn't the time for celebration. She patted her forehead in annoyance, regaining her composure. "Brother, the big star fainted! I’m not going to be charged with manslaughter, am I?!"

"Should I give him mouth-to-mouth?" the girl asked, looking terrified.

Lu Ming: "Why would you want to reward him?"

The girl: "..."

"It’s fine. He’s used to dressing up as a ghost to scare people. You know Baby and Reba? He dressed up as a zombie to scare them two days ago, and look at them now, they’re perfectly fine. He looks fainted, but he’s actually just bored and fell asleep." Lu Ming dismissed the concern.

"He's bored?" the girl asked, shocked.

Lu Ming: "He told me earlier that listening to the ghosts screaming in here helps him sleep!"

"..." The girl looked at Lu Ming, speechless.

*You're the big star, so whatever you say goes, I guess!*

Lu Ming looked at the camera: "Director, come pick up the bodies!"

The director, who was watching from behind the scenes with his mouth agape, was genuinely bewildered by this request.

"Damn it! I set his spawn point in the haunted house specifically to scare him and give him a taste of his own medicine. Now look at what happened—the hack didn't get scared, and he even managed to scare two other people unconscious!"

"And one more was scared into a mental breakdown!" the screenwriter added, silently pointing to another monitor.

...

On the second page of the monitor, Chen Chichi could be seen fleeing for his life, wearing nothing but his underwear. He was sprinting wildly through the streets of Happy Valley, tears and snot streaming down his face, shouting about "zombies." It was clear that the extreme shock had caused his mental state to deteriorate.

"What a disaster!!" the director cursed. "The show's ratings are high, sure, but how much will I have to pay in mental damages, portrait rights, reputation claims, and psychological counseling fees for all these guests?!"

The screenwriter: "..."

They finally understood: wherever this hack went, accidents followed. This guy wasn't just a natural-born variety show star; he was a natural-born disaster magnet.

Over the decades of the domestic entertainment industry's development, after numerous eras of "gods fighting gods," the various paths had basically been set. Yet, this kid had managed to carve out an entirely independent path with his abstract skills—a path only he could navigate.

The audience was enjoying the show, but the stars and production teams working with him were having a miserable time!

The directing team hurriedly dispatched staff to "collect the bodies" of Teacher Huang and Wu Qian.

...

Outside.

Chen Chichi ran until his throat was parched, shouting for help. Just as he was about to collapse from exhaustion, he spotted a familiar face not far away.

"Chao-er, Chao-er, Chao-er..." he called out in a hoarse voice.

Because of the prolonged, frantic screaming, his vocal cords felt like they were smoking; the sound he produced was eerie.

Deng Chao was walking by when he suddenly heard the chilling voice. He looked around in terror: "Who's calling for souls?!"

"It's... it's me..." Chen Chichi waved.

Deng Chao saw a disheveled figure in the distance. He approached, half-doubting, but when he saw the state of Chen Chichi, he was shocked.

Chen Chichi was wearing only his boxers, his legs covered in abrasions and dried blood. He looked completely defeated and filthy, his face a chaotic mess of muddy tears and snot. He looked as if he had experienced the greatest tragedy in the world; it seemed as if he had run out of tears to shed!

"Didn't I hear you were having a blast in the haunted house earlier?" Deng Chao asked, incredulous. "How did you end up like this?"

"Chao-er!!" Chen Chichi acted as if he had found his savior. Upon hearing the words "haunted house," he lunged forward, grabbed Deng Chao, and wailed, "There are ghosts! There are ghosts inside!"

Deng Chao: "???"

"Don't be ridiculous, man. If a haunted house didn't have ghosts, would it still be called a haunted house?"

"No, not ghosts—zombies! Hopping zombies! Like the kind Wu Qian dressed up as last time. The one inside is a real corpse-demon, a hundred times fiercer than the one he pretended to be!" Chen Chichi shrieked in terror.

Because of his extreme mental tension and the long duration of his emotional breakdown, his tear ducts were bone-dry; he couldn't even produce a single tear anymore.

Deng Chao: "..."

*Real corpse-demon? Are you hearing yourself right now?*

The #ZombieIncident# and #MushroomSoupIncident# were his least favorite memories, but looking at Chen Chichi's mental state, Deng Chao decided to let him calm down first. "Weren't you with Wu Qian? Where did he go?"

"Wu Qian is dead, and Teacher Huang is dead too! They were both eaten by the zombies!!" Chen Chichi trembled, recalling the terrifying scene.

Deng Chao: "..."

"Stop it. It's normal for there to be zombies in a haunted house. It’s all just horror effects created by the NPCs," Deng Chao reassured him.

"This time it wasn't fake! I watched with my own eyes as Teacher Huang was dragged into a coffin, and his arm was ripped off! The zombie’s mouth was covered in blood!" Chen Chichi jumped up and down, desperate because Deng Chao didn't believe him. "The zombie lunged at me, and its claws were only a few centimeters from my private parts! I almost died!"

"Then how did you survive?" Deng Chao realized his friend was mentally unstable and changed his strategy to play along.

Chen Chichi confessed: "I held my breath! I was panicking, but I figured I’d try anything. I didn't expect that once I stopped breathing, the zombie literally couldn't see me! You have no idea what that felt like—I was already thinking about my next life!"

"Pfft!!!" Deng Chao burst into laughter, spraying spit all over the young man.

Chen Chichi: "??!"

"This is an emergency!" Chen Chichi, seeing Deng Chao was immovable, turned to the cameraman, shouting, "Quick, tell the director to evacuate everyone!"

The cameraman: "..."

He didn't speak, just kept the lens aimed squarely at Chen Chichi’s face.

"Stop filming! Turn it off! We're not recording anymore!!" Chen Chichi cursed angrily. "I'm telling you again, I really saw zombies! Teacher Huang and Wu Qian are dead! Notify the director to let everyone run! If we're late, people will die!"

"Chi-er, calm down."

"How the hell can I calm down? People died!!"

"Listen to me. Do you really think holding your breath has anything to do with whether a zombie eats you?"

"How could it... not... have... a... connection..."

Chen Chichi started to shout, but the question was like a string snapping in his brain. His voice grew quieter, and as he looked at Deng Chao and the cameraman struggling to hold back laughter, his expression gradually shifted into one of realization.

He replayed everything that had happened inside, his face turning blank. Slowly, his body began to shake violently. He could almost hear the sound of his own IQ shattering like glass.

"Fake... it was fake?!" Chen Chichi refused to accept it.

Deng Chao, seeing the kid had finally regained some reason, smiled bitterly. "What else? Do you really believe zombies exist? You suffered such a huge loss last time, haven't you learned your lesson yet?"

"But... but Teacher Huang..."

"He's old, isn't it normal for him to faint from the shock?" Deng Chao, the veteran actor, guessed. "Wasn't the lighting dark inside, making it hard to see anything? When Teacher Huang 'died,' didn't he use camera angles to trick you?"

"And this 'holding your breath' nonsense? Are you really treating reality like a movie?"

Listening to Chao-ge's roasting, Chen Chichi thought it over for a moment, then collapsed to the ground and slapped his own forehead: "I’m such an idiot!!"

"Falling for the same thing twice... Chi, pull yourself together!"

"If this keeps up, the next Batman movie from Hollywood is really going to hire you!"

Chen Chichi: "..."

"Hahahaha!" In such a short time, his emotions had been on a roller coaster. Now, he let out a frantic laugh toward the sky for a long time, then suddenly cursed: "F***! Who was the NPC playing the zombie? He scared people until they fainted and didn't stop, just kept chasing us like a madman! Is he sick in the head?!"

"Brother, just a reminder: that NPC isn't a staff member!" the cameraman decided he had to spoil the truth.

Chen Chichi: ?!

"The hack!!!" Chen Chichi declared with certainty. "I have no grudge against that hack, so why would he push me so hard?"

"No way, I have to catch that hack and tear him to pieces!"

"How could that jerk scare me like that? And when he saw me holding my breath to save myself, he actually played along?!" Chen Chichi felt incredibly stupid. "No... he's genuinely insane!"

[LOL!]

[Chichi is truly red-faced with anger!]

[If you were in his shoes, you'd be even redder.]

[Once he confirmed it wasn't a staff member, he immediately identified the culprit. How did he pinpoint the real mastermind in a second with so many celebrities around?]

[That's my guy's status in the industry. That's what you call a reputation!]

[The key is, looking at the entire entertainment industry, no one is as crazy as this guy.]

[I'm dying of laughter!]

[Please forgive me for finding joy in Chichi's suffering. Seeing his miserable face after running out of tears made me laugh until I ran out of tears too!]

[Hahahahaha!]

[You knew there was bad blood between those two idols. Why did you have to walk with Wu Qian? When gods fight and blood splatters on you, isn't it your own fault?]

Chen Chichi was filled with rage. The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. He immediately turned and bolted back the way he came, vowing to catch the hack and hold him accountable.

He had been exhausted, but the fire of revenge gave him strength, and he began to sprint again!

The onlookers were stunned. In a way, the "running" spirit of the cast had been realized in this moment. Regardless of the motive, the fact that a guest could grit their teeth and run after such a massive blow moved many viewers.

Before long, he ran into his cameraman, who had been missing for a long time. The man was holding a yellow team uniform and looked hurried. "Chi-ge, you should change your pants. We're still recording! If you need to, I suggest you go back to your room, take a shower, and rest for a bit to calm down!"

Chen Chichi: "..."

After a moment of silence, he asked indignantly: "Was I scared? Who saw it? Did you see it? Did he see it? I wasn't scared! I'm perfectly calm!"

"Brother, the live stream traffic is approaching a billion... a billion views..." the cameraman whispered in his ear. "Your three-man stage play was witnessed by at least ten million netizens!"

"It's blowing up!!"

Chen Chichi: "..."

"Brother, don't be too sad. There's good news!"

"Tell me!"

"Luckily you're a male star. You can survive such a humiliating incident. If you were a female star, you wouldn't have the face to go on living!"

"Why are you saying that? I told you to give me good news!"

"That is the good news..."

"..."

Silence was the Cambridge of the night.

He didn't want to speak. He even had thoughts of going on strike, heading back to the hotel to sleep, and forgetting the past when the sun rose. But at the thought of netizens mocking him behind their screens, his desire for revenge against the hack immediately overwhelmed his sense of injustice.

"I will not share the sky with that hack!!" After a long roar toward the sky, Chen Chichi quickly headed to the restroom to change his clothes.

[Teacher Huang, OUT!]

[Wu Qian, OUT!]

A broadcast suddenly echoed over Happy Valley. Both guest stars who had participated with Lu Ming were eliminated, causing the other members who were searching for clues to turn pale.

...