Chapter 51: The Online Community Bursts into Laughter! The Biggest Live Broadcast Disaster in the History of Chinese Music Unfolds! [Please Vote]

At this moment, Lu Ming seemed to have transformed into a contemporary martial arts master. His whip-like leg strikes flowed smoothly and powerfully, landing fiercely on the two men.

The spectacle was so captivating that the audience couldn’t help but exclaim in astonishment.

“Ahhh!”

“Help!!!”

Teachers Yang and Hua were beaten to a pulp, their previous fierceness completely gone. Each one scrambled desperately to escape the chaotic scene, sobbing and pleading for help from the staff below the stage.

But the staff shook their heads repeatedly, unwilling to step forward.

Just then, Teacher Hua accidentally stepped on the egg liquid spilled on the stage. His foot slipped, and before Lu Ming could catch up, he crashed heavily onto the floor with a loud thud.

Crack!

A sharp sound of something breaking echoed. Teacher Yang, who was desperately calling for help, suddenly felt a hard object stuck in his throat, choking him to tears.

“Cough, cough...”

“What happened? What is it?!”

Yang looked around frantically and saw Teacher Hua screaming in pain, blood smeared all over his mouth. Hua touched his lips in horror, exclaiming, “My tooth... my tooth broke! Help me find it!”

“Tooth?!” Yang felt his own Adam’s apple, then stared in disbelief at Hua’s gums. Where the front tooth should have been, there was now a gap, looking almost comical.

Recalling the hard object that had painfully lodged in his throat earlier, Yang suddenly felt nauseous and bent over, dry heaving uncontrollably.

Seeing this, Hua panicked, “Did you swallow my tooth?”

“Spit it out! Spit it out now!”

“Stop your nonsense! I want to spit it out too!” Yang shouted. “Quick, block that bastard!”

Now fully exhilarated, Lu Ming roared triumphantly, “Little babies, Grandpa’s coming!”

Using the slippery egg liquid on the floor, he slid forward with a sudden burst of speed!

Yang, bent over, triggered a reflex and tried to dodge, but before Lu Ming reached him, he slipped on the egg and slammed face-first onto the floor!

Crack!

His front tooth shattered instantly!

It all happened in a flash. Yang didn’t even feel the pain at first. When the shock hit him, he rolled on the floor, wailing, “Damn it, that bastard! I lost my front tooth!”

“Did I break it? Did I break it? You blame me for everything, but I deserve to be bullied, right?”

“Take this!”

Unaware of the chaos he was causing, Lu Ming saw the slippery egg liquid as an exciting new playground and began to slide and skid across the stage.

Just as Teacher Hua was getting up, clutching his mouth, Lu Ming used the slick floor to slide again and crashed into him, sending him flying.

“Ouch! Damn it!” Hua grimaced in pain, cursing wildly, “Bastard! Don’t ever think you’ll have any future in the music industry! I’m going to blacklist you. You’re finished—your career is over!”

Lu Ming said nothing, sliding from left to right, right to left, over and over. As the egg liquid spread, the stage looked like it was coated in oil.

Neither of them could stand their ground. They would just get up and immediately fall again, unable to resist the brutal collisions and pain. They lay on the slippery floor, defeated, but the bastard showed no mercy. With a speeding slide, he barreled into them like bowling pins, sending them flying several meters!

Yang and Hua were on the verge of a mental breakdown.

What a disaster!

[Awesome!]
[Insane!]
[I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe. The bunk bed’s shaking; my roommate thinks I’m losing my mind this early.]
[Is this guy even human?!]
[Other stars do stunts for show, but this bastard’s entire act is a stunt!]
[Nothing like this has ever happened in Chinese pop music history. This episode will go down in the annals!]
[My daughter’s a fan of Teacher Hua. Seeing her idol knocked down, she’s been kneeling before the screen begging Lu Ming to stop. She’s about to cry, but I’m dying laughing!]
[Hahaha!]

The crowd was thrilled.

But the fans of Teachers Yang and Hua were frantic, pacing anxiously in front of their screens.

“You bastard Lu Ming, stop now!”
“Teacher Yang has been in the industry for over twenty years, a mentor for half his life, and no one has ever disrespected him like this!”
“Teacher Hua is crying after being knocked down, and you still don’t stop? Do you have to keep going until you’ve crushed Gegu as well?!”
“My Hua!”
“This production team must be dead inside! Don’t they see that both teachers have lost teeth? Why won’t anyone step up to restrain Lu Ming?”
“Where are the security guards?”
“What are those fans doing? Filming on their phones instead of stopping this madness!”
“If anything happens to Gegu, the entire production team will have to answer to Teacher Hua.”
“Even if Lu Ming dies tomorrow, it won’t make up for the damage he’s done to Teacher Yang.”
“Hua has never suffered like this before. To risk his life just recording a show—how big a psychological scar will this leave?”

The fans, known as “Insects and Flowers,” felt devastated watching their idols suffer.

Especially the Flower sisters, who gazed at their usually handsome, elegant Gegu reduced to such a pitiful state, their hearts shattered.

That was their precious Gegu—the one they held so carefully in their hands, feared to drop, treasured in their hearts, and never dared to utter a harsh word against.

Damn you, Lu Ming!

You’re trying to destroy the gods of Chinese pop music!

“Lu Ming!” Sister Zheng, shocked by his brutality, rushed with a basket to the two victims, her voice trembling as she stopped him. “Teacher Hua and Teacher Yang are about to be knocked out by you. Will you not stop?!”

Teachers Yang and Hua, barely conscious, looked at Sister Zheng with tearful relief—their grievances bursting forth like children seeing their mother.

Sister Zheng was truly kind-hearted!

“Aren’t we on the same side?” Lu Ming said suspiciously.

Sister Zheng’s eyes widened. “Who said I’m on your side, you bastard?”

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“You brought all these eggs, both preparing the battlefield for me and smashing them onto the teachers—isn’t that helping me?” Lu Ming said matter-of-factly.

Teacher Yang: “???”
Teacher Hua: “!!!”

Both spat out the blood and glared at Sister Zheng accusingly.

Indeed. If it weren’t for this bastard Zheng bringing so many eggs, they wouldn’t have been battered to the point of bloodied mouths and broken teeth.

“So you were behind this? I should have guessed...” Yang said with sudden realization. “You must be thinking about getting back together with Lu Ming now that he’s popular. Pretending to side with us, but secretly pining for your ex. Little Zheng, you’re sneaky!”

“You used us as a token of loyalty?!” Hua couldn’t believe it.

Sister Zheng was stunned, looking at Lu Ming in disbelief, her head buzzing.

“That bastard hurt me so badly. I hope he breaks soon. How could I want to get back with a jerk like him? Get back together? To be bullied by him?!” Zheng protested emotionally.

“You’re just jealous of his fame!” Hua said bitterly.

“That bastard could be famous across China, overseas, even the galaxy, and I still wouldn’t accept him!” Zheng shouted.

“You bastard, take this basket!”

Frustrated, Zheng swung the basket heavily at Lu Ming’s head.

Lu Ming: “???”

“You only slide tackle them, not me?”

In the next second, to Zheng’s shock, Lu Ming swept her legs and knocked her to the stage floor. Then, sliding, he used his shoe sole to make an intimate connection with Teacher Hua’s handsome face.

“Ah! My face!” Hua screamed.

Zheng plopped down, too thin to cushion the fall, her bottom aching. Before she could react, Lu Ming slid over again and knocked her flying three meters!

Zheng’s eyes filled with terror. She couldn’t believe that the guy who once obeyed her every word, the one who once worshipped her and even took out loans for her, now dared to treat her so rudely in public!

Yang and Hua were stunned.

This bastard even tackles women when he’s crazy!

“Stop!” Yang cried, trembling as Lu Ming charged at him again, seemingly ready to go berserk. “Lu Ming… I’m old and maybe ignorant. If I’ve done wrong, please forgive me.”

“Why soften up to him? Does this bastard think he can knock us out?” Hua spat out blood, glaring hatefully at Lu Ming. “Just wait. After today, if I don’t get you banned from Chinese pop, I’m not Hua!”

Everyone knew the Chinese music scene belonged to the Hua family.

“Call me Lu Ming, call me that! You admit your mistake but still call me that?” Lu Ming punched Yang hard to sober him up, then grabbed both Yang and Hua, pulling them together. He casually scooped up a sticky egg yolk from the slippery floor, eyes gleaming.

“You’ve been struggling so long, you must be starving!”

“With all these fresh ingredients on the floor, I’ll make your mouths full of flavor!”

“No…” Yang barely started to protest when Lu Ming suddenly shoved the yolk into his mouth with a ‘pop.’

Yang swallowed it with a gulp, tears welling up.

“My tooth’s still in your stomach!” Hua’s eyes widened.

If it could be spat out in time, he could get it fixed at the hospital. Dentures were fine, but nothing beat the original parts for peace of mind. But now, watching Yang swallow another yolk, Hua felt as if the sky was falling.

Looks like it’ll have to come out naturally tomorrow...

And then, would it still be usable?!

Next, Lu Ming treated the egg liquid and yolks like glue, smearing it all over their faces and stuffing their mouths full. The two gagged, biting their teeth to resist, but with broken front teeth and gaps in their mouths, the egg liquid poured in like a beverage.

“Drink! Drink up!”

“As public figures, it’s our duty to cherish food. Do you know how many people starve each year? Do you know how hard it is for hens to lay eggs? Do you know how many children in mountain schools eat eggs only a few times a year? No, you don’t. You only care about yourselves!”

Lu Ming’s spirit soared as he frantically scooped the wet egg mixture into their mouths, rattling off dishes at lightning speed:

“Tomato scrambled eggs, mushroom scrambled eggs, beef scrambled eggs, pork scrambled eggs, vegetable scrambled eggs, leek scrambled eggs, lettuce scrambled eggs, cucumber scrambled eggs, pumpkin scrambled eggs!”

“I scramble both of you bastards!”

At last, he clamped their mouths shut to prevent them from spitting, quietly savoring the moment of inner peace.

[Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy crap!]
[Unfortunately, I’m illiterate, so “holy crap” is all I know!]
[Teacher Yang and Teacher Hua have truly had it now!]
[Goddamn scrambled eggs! My mom’s been cooking for decades but never named so many scrambled egg dishes. Lu Ming’s mouth is like a game combo—had me laughing so hard I almost peed.]
[I literally stood up in front of the screen!]
[Wait, why did I stand up too?]
[Everyone, stand up!]
[Teacher Yang: The one wasting eggs is your old flame, what does that have to do with me?!]
[Teacher Hua: When falsely accused, there’s no shortage of excuses.]

After confirming they swallowed all the precious food, Lu Ming released their mouths.

Yang, possibly choked or mentally shaken, looked at the ceiling with a lost expression, tears slowly streaming down his face.

He raised a trembling finger to point at Lu Ming, his lips moving as if to speak.

Lu Ming grabbed his hand, bent the finger upwards, and said, “No need to thank me, Teacher Yang. If you’re still hungry, come to my place. I’ll throw you a scrambled egg feast!”

Yang’s forehead veins bulged in pain, and listening to this taunt, he choked and fainted on the spot.

Lu Ming glanced at Teacher Hua.

Hua’s eyes were hollow, like a ruined young lady, staring despairingly at the ceiling.

Noticing Lu Ming’s gaze, he hiccupped and suddenly spat out a perfectly round egg yolk. Fortunately, Lu Ming was quick and shoved the yolk right back into his mouth!

Hua’s eyes widened in shock.

“Magic that makes you spit out egg yolks—rare even in the circus,” Lu Ming clicked his tongue in admiration. “Truly a great magician, not only casting spells but performing too. No wonder Chinese music belongs to the Hua family. I think I’ve figured it out.”

Page 3:

“Figured out my ass!”

Hua stared daggers at Lu Ming.

Damn it, Lu Ming! As long as I’m alive in this industry, you’ll never have it easy!

Overwhelmed by fury and shame at his miserable ordeal, Hua’s spirit finally collapsed, and he fainted from the shock.

Seeing this, all the Flowers felt as if their beloved idol’s treasured bicycle—carefully protected and rarely even ridden—was being trampled by this bastard Lu Ming, who would rather break the chain than get off and push!

“Our Hua!”
“What sin did he commit to deserve this treatment from Lu Ming?”
“Hua collapsed, degraded by Lu Ming!”
“How can I face him like this in the future?”

The Flowers were devastated, crushed.

Their idol, cherished for years, had his aura shattered by this bastard Lu Ming. They wanted nothing more than to rush through the screen and tear him apart.

Meanwhile, with the two teachers motionless, Lu Ming turned to Sister Zheng and slid toward her.

Zheng hadn’t even stood up yet, her face pale, retreating frantically.

Having witnessed the teachers’ misery and seeing Lu Ming’s fierce expression, the once-proud Zheng now looked like a frightened hamster, terrified!

“Lu… Lu Ming, do you remember me by the Temple of Heaven lake? You asked me to be your girlfriend then. We’ve been together since!”

Zheng didn’t know why she brought up the past but hoped to awaken any lingering feelings or conscience in Lu Ming. She feigned vulnerability: “You wouldn’t hurt me, right?”

“Yes,” Lu Ming replied. “Given our history, I would cherish you well.”

Zheng breathed a sigh of relief and felt a bit smug. She knew Lu Ming hadn’t moved on from their past. Though he acted tough, his heart was still attached to her.

Hmph! I knew it!

“Close your eyes!” Lu Ming suddenly crouched down.

Zheng hesitated. “Why?”

“Because I said so. No more questions.” Lu Ming’s tone brooked no argument.

Zheng’s heart trembled. His words felt alien, disconnected from the man she once knew. Still, she obediently shut her eyes.

As darkness enveloped her, strange thoughts crept in.

Could he be about to kiss her in front of everyone?

No way, right? With Teachers Yang and Hua’s lives uncertain and such a disastrous live broadcast, this would be an inappropriate, unromantic moment.

Suddenly, the audience gasped, agitated as if witnessing a marriage proposal.

Zheng shivered and was about to open her eyes when she heard Lu Ming’s soft voice: “Don’t open your eyes. I have a surprise for you!”

A surprise?!

Which girl could refuse those words?

Zheng imagined roses and diamond rings in her mind.

Lu Ming was serious!

Should she say yes?

No, absolutely not!

Despite all his unforgivable actions before, and his newfound fame and talent after their breakup...

Just moments ago, he had slammed her down so hard she still felt sore.

How could she forgive such cruelty?

She had even imagined how she would publicly reject him to shame him.

Then suddenly, her tightly closed lips were pried apart. Zheng’s heart skipped a beat as she instinctively stuck out her tongue—and a pungent, spicy taste filled her mouth.

“???” Her mind reeled. “Mustard! It’s mustard!”

She opened her eyes wide and saw Lu Ming squeezing a thick line of mustard, grimacing with determination as he forced it into her mouth.

Her eyes widened in terror as she struggled helplessly.

“Eat well, darling. Grandpa’s off now!” Lu Ming felt refreshed after his mischief and dashed toward the studio exit before Zheng could protest.

“Waaah... bastard! Cough cough cough!” The adored newcomer, choking on mustard, broke down in tears.

“Waaah!”

“You’re heartless, not human!”

“Help... help… water... water, please!!”

Zheng spat out the mustard furiously and chased after Lu Ming, claws out in rage.

But the spicy taste lingered in her mouth and nose. Tears streamed uncontrollably as she gasped, unable to open her eyes.

Then, her eyes rolled back, and she stumbled, collapsing on the stage, instantly rendered unconscious by the mustard’s sting!

...

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The next update might be delayed; this chapter took longer to revise, so it’s a bit slow.