Chapter 28: The Prime Minister's Funeral, I Must Attend

The noise disturbed the stage crew. Since filming was underway just outside the palace, the crew member gestured for everyone to be quiet.

The little girl pouted, her small face puffed up like a balloon. She secretly made up her mind that she would stay up late tonight. Once the "blockhead" was asleep, she would exact her ruthless revenge. Teacher An warned his daughter, which only made her angrier, leaving her with the recurring feeling that she was the one who had been adopted.

"When did you all arrive at the set?" Liu Jing asked in a low voice.

"When you were taking off your clothes," Sister Li said, pursing her lips. The little guy was very protective of his privacy; even at home, he rarely walked around bottomless. Liu Jing kept a straight face, deciding that this was a question that shouldn't have been asked.

Seeing this, Teacher An shook his head and made small talk, "Zhang Min is playing Yin Susu, isn't she? Her acting is quite good."

"It's alright," Liu Jing nodded. It was indeed a significant improvement, much better than when she was filming *Fist of Fury 1991*. He didn't boast, but he felt he deserved some credit, as he had helped her rehearse.

With an investment of tens of millions, Yongsheng Pictures had high hopes for *The Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber*. Because of a fortune teller’s words, Zhang Min was pushing herself hard, determined to give a stellar performance in this film. She had watched the Liu Yupu version of *The Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber* many times; when she wasn't pondering her scenes as Zhao Min, she would often put on her costume to practice. Liu Jing and his aunt, who were always by her side, became her captive audience. After every rehearsal, she would ask them for feedback.

His aunt, having no real critique, would only say, "Wow," "So cool," "So amazing," or "It’s just like the real thing..." As a reader who had devoured Jin Yong’s martial arts novels, Liu Jing actually gave Zhang Min a lot of useful suggestions.

"Who is playing Zhang Cuishan? He really fits the image," Teacher An said with interest. This was his first time watching a movie being filmed up close.

"Wu Zhenyu," Liu Jing replied.

"Wu Zhenyu?" Teacher An didn’t recognize the name. He wasn’t very interested in entertainment news and only paid slight attention to it. It was only because his wife and foster son had been acting in films over the last two years that he had started to take notice.

"He played Jiang Yulang in last year’s hit *Handsome Siblings*," the aunt said. She was quite knowledgeable, being half an insider herself.

"Oh, right, it’s him," Teacher An said with a sudden realization, then asked, "Who is Zhang Sanfeng? He acts like an old urchin—he should have played Zhou Botong."

"That fatty is Sammo Hung," Liu Jing glanced at Teacher An, wondering why he was acting like such a curious child. Was he really that sheltered?

"Goodness, it’s actually him? I didn't even recognize him," the aunt exclaimed.

Teacher An’s face turned red as he caught the meaning in Liu Jing’s eyes. It was his first time watching a set, so it was inevitable he would be filled with wonder, but he realized he had lost his composure.

"Look! That Abbess Miejue is Teacher Sun Mengquan, who played Li Wan in *Dream of the Red Chamber*. The Golden-Haired Lion King is played by Yan Huaili—he was Sha Wujing in *Journey to the West*," Liu Jing pointed at the actors outside, educating Teacher An.

"It’s actually Teacher Yan? I must go meet him later. I heard he played many roles in *Journey to the West*," Teacher An said, his interest piqued again. He loved watching *Journey to the West*.

"Besides Sha Wujing, there was the Bull Demon King, Taishang Laojun, the Dragon King of the West Sea, the Horse Keeper, the Heavenly King Duowen..." Liu Jing rattled them off like a pro.

"How do you know all of this so clearly?" Xixi asked, curious and suspecting that the blockhead was just making things up.

"He told me himself. We’re very close. If you call me 'Big Brother,' I’ll ask him to take a photo with you," Liu Jing tempted her. Xixi also loved *Journey to the West*—honestly, what child didn't?

Liu Jing wasn't lying. During breaks today, he had gotten quite chummy with several mainland actors. The Hong Kong and Taiwan actors were a bit more aloof, and more importantly, there was a language barrier. He had been studying Cantonese recently, and when his "photographic memory" kicked in, it also granted him an "auditory memory," though he was still a ways off from fluent conversation.

At lunch, he had complained to "Fatty Wang" that the casting was a bit of a failure. If it were up to him, he would have definitely picked Yan Huaili to play the Fire-Head Monk. The current actor playing the Fire-Head Monk was Zhang Xusheng, who played Zhang He in *Romance of the Three Kingdoms*, but his look was pure Sha Wujing—specifically the version before he converted to Buddhism.

"Eat dirt," Xixi rolled her eyes.

"Blockhead, what did you eat at the set for lunch?" Sister Li asked, already used to the two little ones bickering.

"Lunch," Liu Jing didn't really want to answer. His daughter just told him to eat dirt, and the mother immediately asked what he ate—the two of them were a bit too in sync.

"Answer properly," Sister Li said, annoyed. This child was becoming more mischievous by the day.

"What else can you eat on a film set? But the food is better than it was on the *Three Kingdoms* set," Liu Jing said with a sigh, feeling a bit nostalgic for the *Three Kingdoms* crew. Although the food was poor, the lodging inconvenient, and the conditions harsh, the "culture and entertainment aura" there was truly abundant.

Over the past two years, he had experienced many film sets. Some he participated in, others he visited under false pretenses, and he had gained a lot of experience. The larger the production and the grander the scenes, the faster the "culture and entertainment aura" refreshed, and the more he could acquire. For example, this *Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber* was considered a big production, and there were quite a few people representing the six major sects. But compared to *Three Kingdoms*, it was no match at all.

"You’ve only eaten a few meals on the set, and you’re already waxing poetic," Sister Li said, stunned. She had eaten far more meals on the *Three Kingdoms* set than he had.

"I ate there for several days when you were filming the 'Ganlu Temple Betrothal' at Three Kingdoms City," Liu Jing argued. He shook his head and began to sing, "Persuade the thousand-year-old, let not the word 'kill' pass your lips; I, the old minister, will recount the story from the beginning. Liu Bei is a descendant of Prince Jing, a lone branch of the Han Emperor’s lineage..."

Sister Li frowned. She wasn't angry that he brought it up, but rather that he sang so terribly. The cawing of a crow was merely noisy, but Liu Jing’s singing voice was something even a crow would find grating.

Xixi covered her ears and closed her eyes, "Stop! Don't sing anymore, I’m begging you."

It wasn't easy to get her to use the word "beg." Liu Jing didn't think he sounded bad; he found it a fascinating little tune and loved the operas of this era. When the old folks at home listened to opera, he could appreciate it right along with them. So, instead of stopping, he went up two keys higher, "He has a second brother, the Marquis of Hanshou, his Green Dragon Crescent Blade makes spirits and ghosts tremble; at Baima Slope he slew Wen... Ah..."

His aunt could take no more; she had reached her limit. The brat didn't know he was a terrible singer, yet he loved to belt out a few lines. She had barely tolerated his singing before, but this opera was even worse. She kicked Liu Jing in the backside, "I can't take it anymore!"

Xixi, quick to seize the opportunity, grabbed Liu Jing by the ear, "You dead blockhead, every time you sing, I’m going to hit you once."

"Sister Li, your daughter is bullying me! Can I hit her back?" Liu Jing asked Sister Li.

"Stop messing around, they're still filming outside. Xixi, look, the five major sects look so majestic," Sister Li said, her head aching as she pulled her daughter away to distract her.

A child’s attention was indeed easily diverted. Xixi stared intently outside, murmuring, "So many people fighting. Blockhead, would you fight for me?"

"Look at you, so sheltered. Last June, when they were filming the Battle of Guandu for *Three Kingdoms*, they used a whole division of troops. Do you know how many people are in a division? That’s over ten thousand people. The Battle of Guandu was a real spectacle. Count these five sects—are there even fifty people combined? A handful of kittens, and they dare call themselves the five major sects. The horizons of the Hong Kong and Taiwan folks are still too narrow," Liu Jing said dismissively, though he felt a pang of regret in his heart.

He hadn't been there when they filmed that scene; otherwise, he could have collected so many bubbles of energy. Even if it were just one point per person, that would be over ten thousand points! He had been there for the filming of Liu Bei and Sun Shangxiang’s wedding, and he had walked away with several thousand points of "culture and entertainment aura." Though the Battle of Guandu had been on a massive scale, it didn't impress Liu Jing much; in the memories of the "second-generation ancestor," he had witnessed real war. No matter how realistic the filming was, it was still fake. Reality was true, and it was heavy.

"Mom, the blockhead is mocking me. We’re going to the funeral of Zhuge Liang, and we aren't taking him," Xixi said. After hearing him, the scene before her suddenly lost its charm.

Liu Jing’s expression shifted, and he said solemnly to Sister Li, "I must attend the Prime Minister’s funeral."

"Why? Do you really think you're Liu Shan?" Teacher An said with interest.

"Don't ask. In any case, you’ll never become a chancellor."