Chapter 45: You Really Are a Dunderhead

The person who called Little Guizi was, naturally, none other than his third uncle, Huang Biao, the associate chief physician at the Mingde Tang Traditional Chinese Medicine Clinic.

Little Guizi hurriedly slipped into the restroom and pressed the answer button.

"Hello," he whispered.

"Get over here quickly, ten meters to the left of the clinic's front door," Huang Biao said, and hung up immediately.

Faking the sound of a toilet flush, Little Guizi hurried to the designated spot.

Sure enough, Huang Biao was cowering in the corner, craning his neck and looking around stealthily.

The moment he saw Little Guizi, he launched into a furious scolding, "What is wrong with you? Why did it take you forever to see a doctor? Are you still not done?"

"Uh, the consultation is already finished. Dr. Zhang was explaining some TCM knowledge to me," Little Guizi stammered, looking somewhat uneasy.

"TCM knowledge? Did you come here to attend his lectures? Why don't you just apprentice under him and quit working at the construction site altogether?!" Hearing this, Huang Biao grew even angrier and couldn't help but lecture him further.

"I... I..." Faced with this verbal onslaught, Little Guizi immediately floundered, unable to utter a complete sentence.

"Alright, hurry up and get your prescription filled so you can take it back and brew it. Remember what I told you, and don't let him bamboozle you. If you don't walk out with your medicine within five minutes, I'm going to storm right in and slap you across the face!" Huang Biao said with a dark expression.

"Alright, alright, Third Uncle, I'm going right now."

Just as Little Guizi was about to move his legs, Huang Biao grabbed him by the arm.

His tone suddenly softening, Huang Biao said, "Little Guizi, it's great that you want to learn about TCM. Third Uncle will have a chance to teach you slowly later. It's just that that fellow Zhang Jing has occupied my consulting room, dragging things on endlessly. Am I supposed to stop seeing patients or what?"

"I get it. Don't worry, Third Uncle, I'll take care of everything you asked me to do properly." Deep down, Little Guizi was someone who responded better to a soft approach than a hard one.

Huang Biao clearly understood his personality traits. Therefore, after being unable to resist giving him a "lash," he quickly offered a sweet treat to make up for it.

Little Guizi returned to the internal medicine consulting room once again.

As soon as he sat down, he offered an apologetic lie, "I'm sorry, Dr. Zhang. Your lecture was fascinating, and I really wanted to keep listening, but my foreman called and urged me to hurry back. Could you just write the prescription for me directly? You know so much, so I definitely trust you!"

Although Zhang Jing felt something was slightly amiss, he didn't care to dwell on it and simply nodded.

He began writing down the medical record and prescription.

Patient: Male, 28 years old. A history of prostatitis with recurrent frequency, urgency, and pain in urination for over three years, treated continuously with anti-inflammatory medications and microwave therapy at various hospitals. Relapsed three days ago, currently experiencing a sensation of heaviness and discomfort in the lower abdomen. Yesterday, sudden and frequent diarrhea began, occurring over a dozen times a day with noticeably watery stools. Symptoms were somewhat alleviated after taking Western anti-diarrheal medication. Since waking up this morning, bowel movements have occurred four times, unformed.

Examination: Pale tongue body with a white, greasy, and slippery coating; sublingual stasis is not obvious. Left pulse is wiry and slippery; right pulse is deep, wiry, and weak.

Diagnosis: Combined syndrome of Taiyin, Shaoyin, and Shaoyang (Qi deficiency and dampness stagnation pattern).

Prescription: Modified Chaihu Guizhi Gancao Tang combined with Wuling San.
Bupleurum (Chaihu) 12g, Cinnamon Twig (Guizhi) 9g, Dried Ginger (Gancao) 15g, Codonopsis (Dangshen) 15g, Fresh Ginger-Processed Pinellia (Jiang Banxia) 10g, Prepared Aconite (Pao Fuzi) 9g, Peach Kernel (Taoren) 9g, Poria (Fuling) 18g, Alisma (Zexie) 9g, Lysimachia (Jinqiancao) 15g, Plantago Seed enclosed in cloth (Cheqianzi) 12g, Alpinia Fruit (Yizhiren) 9g. Six doses.

Having finished writing, Zhang Jing handed the medical record booklet and the handwritten prescription over to Little Guizi.

"Take this prescription to the pharmacy and get six doses. When you get back, empty the herbal medicine into a ceramic pot and soak it in about 1,000 milliliters of clean water for thirty minutes. Do not pour out the soaking water."

"Then place it on a gas stove and heat it on high until it comes to a boil, then turn it down to the lowest setting and continue simmering for thirty to forty minutes. Pour out the medicinal liquid, which should amount to about 300 milliliters, and strain out the dregs. Take it in two warm doses, about 150 milliliters each time."

"Got it, got it. One of my coworkers happens to have a medicinal pot," Little Guizi replied hastily.

"During the period of taking the medicine, try to avoid raw, cold, fried, and grilled foods."

"What about chili peppers? I suppose I shouldn't eat those either?"

"A little mild spice is fine, just don't eat anything too spicy."

"Are there any other foods I shouldn't eat? You might as well list them all at once so I can remember them."

Little Guizi remembered what Huang Biao had told him earlier: many TCM doctors would rattle off a long list of dietary restrictions so that if the prescription failed to work, they could shift the blame onto the patient for eating forbidden foods.

"That's it, nothing else. You should hurry along now. Didn't you say your foreman was rushing you?" Zhang Jing said with a smile.

Little Guizi froze, feeling quite perplexed inside: This didn't match up with most of the things his Third Uncle had predicted!

However, there was no one to ask about it now, so with a head full of questions and words of thanks to Zhang Jing, he stepped out of the consulting room.

Arriving at the dispensary and cashier window, Little Guizi called out to Gui Cui behind the glass.

"Hey, help me check how much this is."

Gui Cui acted as though she hadn't heard and kept her head down reading her book.

"Hey, I'm talking to you." Little Guizi raised his voice a notch.

"Excuse me, my name is not 'Hey'!" Gui Cui finally looked up and replied coldly.

"Ah! Well, I didn't know your name, did I? Sorry about that."

After a moment's thought, Little Guizi quickly offered an apology.

He knew that she would be the one dispensing the herbs later. If he offended her and she decided to tamper with the medicine, he would be in deep trouble!

Ignoring him completely, Gui Cui took the prescription slip and quickly entered it into the clinic's computer system.

In about a minute, she finished inputting everything, then carefully cross-checked it against the prescription slip.

With a deadpan expression, she stated, "Six doses come to a total of 88.4 yuan. WeChat, Alipay, or cash?"

"WeChat, please. It's more convenient for you without needing to make change," Little Guizi said with a fawning smile.

Looking somewhat impatient, Gui Cui raised her WeChat payment QR code.

Using the OPPO phone he had already prepared, Little Guizi scanned the QR code, entered the amount, and typed in his payment password.

He thought to himself: This medicine is way cheaper compared to the one Third Uncle prescribed yesterday.

Naturally, he had no way of knowing that the medicine Huang Biao prescribed hadn't been expensive either; it was just padded out with worthless substitutes.

"Ding! WeChat payment received: 88.4 yuan."

After processing the payment, Gui Cui went back to grabbing the prescription slip and pulling herbs drawer by drawer.

Working with swift and practiced hands, Gui Cui finished gathering all six doses of medicine in less than three minutes.

Before wrapping them in kraft paper, she meticulously double-checked the contents, then took out her name stamp and pressed it onto the paper.

Next, she handed Little Guizi a neutral-pen. "Check the quantity and sign your name on the back of the prescription."

With that, she flipped the prescription over and slid it across to him.

"Alright, alright." Not daring to count the packets at all, Little Guizi muttered his assent and scrawled his full name with a flourish.

He knew this was just like when someone pays you back money and politely tells you, "Count it."

If you were foolish enough to take them at their word and count the cash right in front of them, you ran a high risk of deeply offending them.

After sending the patient off, Gui Cui could no longer sit still. She hurried over to find Zhang Jing, who had returned to the small herb dispensary on the first floor.

Disregarding the presence of a third person, Wang Sen, she blurted out anxiously, "Dr. Zhang, didn't I call and tell you that this guy was a shill hired by 'Five-Claws Dragon' yesterday?"

With a calm and unruffled expression, Zhang Jing replied slowly, "I know. But even so, should a patient just be ignored? Besides, he really is sick, not faking it. As a doctor, I naturally have to do my utmost to treat him."

Although Wang Sen didn't entirely understand the situation at the moment, hearing Zhang Jing's words alone filled him with a sudden surge of respect.

Clapping his hands together, he exclaimed, "Well said! Dr. Zhang, you are truly my idol!"

Gui Cui pouted, stomped her foot in frustration, and dropped a final remark: "You're a real blockhead, I can't be bothered with you anymore!"

With that, she spun around and marched back to her workstation.

Once Gui Cui was gone, Wang Sen couldn't hold back his curiosity any longer and immediately asked, "Dr. Zhang, what on earth is going on here?"

"It's nothing much, probably just a little misunderstanding," Zhang Jing said indifferently.

Seeing that Zhang Jing was unwilling to elaborate, Wang Sen didn't dare to ask any further.

He simply lowered his head and went back to work.