Chapter 63: Blind Potatoes, Rotten Sweet Potatoes

Tang Chunyan’s face was twisted in a grimace, her teeth clenched, and her entire being radiating an aura of imminent explosion.

Li Qi felt that if she were given a suitable background music track, she could ascend straight to the heavens.

He truly had no tricks for dealing with this powder keg, but in order to get a sound night’s sleep tonight, he managed to come up with a good plan.

"Second Sister-in-law, regarding this matter, I’ve already entrusted it to someone. To go back on it now after the fact is like retracting what's already been excreted—it just doesn't look good."

"What's not good about it? She's nothing more than an old swindler! Do you have to wait until she tricks away every last cent of your money before you're happy? If you're too embarrassed, I'll go get it back for you!"

Li Qi was waiting precisely for those words from Tang Chunyan.

"Great, then it's a deal. In a couple of days, I'm heading to the city, and you can come with me to find her."

Tang Chunyan struck her chest in grief and indignation.

"Why wait a couple of days? Why are you always so stubbornly obtuse? So dead-set on dragging things out like this, who do you take after? We're going tomorrow to demand it back!"

Li Mantang raised his head in confusion. He felt as though his second daughter-in-law had metaphorically scratched him up, yet he didn't dare make a sound. He couldn't beat her in a physical fight, nor could he out-scold her.

The second brother’s life was truly miserable indeed.

"That won't do. I have things to attend to these next two days. In a couple of days, I'll come find you, and we'll head to the city together."

Tang Chunyan still wanted to say something, but Li Hai pulled at her sleeve.

"Since Third Brother says he has matters to attend to, let's go back and wait a couple of days. But Third Brother, you need to keep your wits about you too. Don't drag it out too long. Just these next few days, your sister-in-law and I will be waiting for your word."

With that, he dragged his wife toward the door. Li Qi and Li Li hurriedly stepped onto the floorboards to see the two of them out.

Once outside, Tang Chunyan grabbed Li Hai by the ribs and gave them a vicious twist.

"Why are you always so eager to play the good guy? Waiting a couple of days—what if the money gets swindled away in the meantime? That's ten thousand yuan! If someone cheats us out of it, it's practically taking my life!"

By this point, Tang Chunyan had completely begun to regard that money as her own.

Anyway, according to village rules, whoever laid claim to it first was the owner.

Tang Chunyan hadn't even finished elementary school; her mind was filled entirely with these backward, petty conventions.

Li Hai was in so much pain that tears welled up in his eyes, but cowed by his wife’s combat prowess, he didn't dare act up and had to patiently explain.

"Third Brother is still half a kid after all, and I went through that age myself. A guy like that cares deeply about his face and loves to go against people. If you twist his head to the east, he'll deliberately head west. You have to stroke his fur the right way. If you really push him to the brink, he might abandon the money altogether just to spite you over this breath. It's not worth it. Let's just give him three days. After three days, if he's still stalling, I'll figure something out."

Hearing this, Tang Chunyan felt slightly better. After thinking it over, she gave Li Hai's ribs another fierce twist.

"You dog of a man, usually you look so meek and mousy, yet your belly is full of crooked schemes. No wonder you're the shortest in your family—all your height got dragged down by your crafty thoughts. Tell me, are you playing tricks behind my back and messing around with something outside?"

"Wife, how could I ever dare?!"

Tormented by Tang Chunyan to the point of tears, Li Hai clutched his waist and wailed bitterly.

Meanwhile, back in the room, Li Li and Li Qi returned inside and asked with concern,

"Third Brother, are we really going to Auntie Qiu's place to demand money? If that money falls into the hands of the second family, it'll truly be buried six feet under. Even if you shout till your throat bleeds, she's never going to cough it up."

Li Qi sneered.

"Old Eldest Sister, I know what I'm doing. This time when we go to the city, Political Commissar Zhou specifically told me to drop by and visit Auntie Qiu when we have time, saying she misses the food you cook. As well, when the two of us go, we'll just drag Second Sister-in-law along and let her broaden her horizons. Let me tell you, where Auntie Qiu lives, there are guards at every intersection, and there are probably soldiers standing guard right at the door. With a snob like Second Sister-in-law, whenever she sees someone who isn't doing well, she'd love nothing more than to step on them and spit twice. But when she actually sees someone with real power and influence, she turns as spineless as a jellyfish and practically kneels to lick the soles of their shoes. The moment she actually meets Auntie Qiu, she'll definitely be too scared to even let out a fart. This whole issue will resolve itself then."

Hearing this, Li Li smiled knowingly and poked Li Qi on the forehead.

"Your foul mouth is as venomous as if it were coated in poison; you're truly vicious. Tang Chunyan has her flaws, but she's not quite like how you describe."

Gao Junmei chimed in from the side,

"I think Little Uncle described it brilliantly. I'm going to write it down so that the next time other classmates argue with me, I can scold them right back like this."

"Off with you! Not learning anything good, only picking up this kind of nonsense."

Li Li gave her daughter's backside a playful slap, though the daughter was never afraid of her and merely pulled down her eyelids to make a funny face.

Old Man Li at the side also set his mind at ease. The youngest truly was different from before. Using a trick like this to rein in Tang Chunyan was indeed the most immediate and effective method.

At this moment, the few of them had no idea that a few days later at Auntie Qiu's house, Tang Chunyan would commit an earth-shattering feat that would make her famous in a single battle.

The next day, Li Qi set out early again. Before he even reached the alley exit, he saw Liu Yuting still waiting for him.

Today, Liu Yuting had changed her outfit, dressing a bit more warmly.

She wore a rex rabbit fur vest, fur-lined long boots, and a fluffy white hat on her head.

It seemed she had truly been frozen through yesterday and had made some preparations today.

Catching sight of Li Qi from afar, Liu Yuting threw aside all her pride and shouted loudly,

"Stop right there, I have something to say!"

"Piss off to the side!"

Bracing against the biting cold wind, Li Qi strode away.

Left behind, Liu Yuting was sent fluttering into disarray amidst the cold air currents blowing straight from Siberia.

Who am I? Where am I? Who the heck did I offend?

Even if Li Qi found her annoying, he shouldn't refuse to say a single word to her!

She had planned it all out: the moment she called Li Qi into the house, she would strip off her clothes and ambush him right then and there!

Damn it! Ever since she was a child, she had never suffered such a grievance. Which simperer didn't come at her beck and call? What right did a loser like Li Qi have to leave her hanging for an entire day?

She had to pin the charge of sexual harassment on him; even if she couldn't extort money from him, she would ruin his reputation completely.

Every man who looked down on her deserved to die!

By now, she had also figured it out: that provincial woman the other day was impossible to be dating Li Qi; she was simply there to provoke her for fun.

That being the case, this bastard Li Qi had to pay the price for his mistake.

Unfortunately, Li Qi once again walked away from her without a moment's hesitation, leaving Liu Yuting to wave her arms futilely in the air.

Two hours later, Liu Yuting was so frozen that snot was streaming past her lips, flowing into her mouth—salty and foul...

Her snot bubbles had frozen into ice crystals, coating her originally pretty nose.

Frostbite had even formed on her face.

As for her feet, they felt as though they had been bitten by a dog and then scrubbed over with coarse salt—an excruciating sensation.

Walking with extreme difficulty, Liu Yuting trudged back to the borrowed house. Her father, Liu Neng, along with Xie Dakun, Wang Degui, and Zhao Laosi, crawled out from beneath the cattle shed once again.

The four old men huddled together, their teeth chattering so hard they could barely speak.

"Liu, Liu, Liu Neng... how about we just forget about this whole thing? You and your daughter set up a scheme, and in the end, the three of us are going to be offered up as sacrifices."

"Damn it, if we can't call that kid over tomorrow, the four of us won't even need to move—we can just dig a trench right under the cattle shed and bury ourselves."

Zhao Laosi had already sustained a slight disability in his leg during those years of political movements, walking with a distinct limp, yet he was particularly fond of dancing the great yangge and was known as the premier dancing king of Niuxin Town.

At this moment, frozen stiff, his legs were numb, and his injured foot dragged across the ground much like the legendary swordsman Fu Hongxue.

"Liu Neng, today you must treat me to a bottle of Beijing Erguotou; don't you dare try to fob me off with cheap loose liquor. My crown jewels are cramping from the cold, and my testicles feel like blocks of ice. This is truly like swinging an iron ball inside your trousers—heavy and agonizing. Treating me with Yunnan Baiyao won't make up for this trauma."

Helpless, Liu Neng felt into the front pocket of his underwear and fished out the last five yuan he had on him, sending Liu Yuting off to buy wine and food to entertain his old buddies.

He, too, was on the verge of a breakdown.

He had seen with his own eyes how desperately Li Qi had groveled before his daughter all these years; how on earth had the kid suddenly become completely unresponsive to his calls?

If Liu Yuting couldn't summon Li Qi tomorrow, all five of them would freeze to death!

Li Qi knew nothing of this, and even if he did, he wouldn't care in the least.

It was merely bringing misfortune upon oneself. At worst, when the funeral banquet was held, he would just drink a couple extra cups of orange-flavored soda to commemorate these five filthy wandering souls.

Blind potatoes, rotten sweet potatoes, frozen cucumbers in the cellar—none of them were good ingredients.

Step on a cornbread bun, and not a single piece is decent.

He busied himself for another day and still came away empty-handed, but he had roughly narrowed down a perimeter.

He believed that tomorrow, he would surely find that sum of money!