Chapter 60: There Are No Good People in the External Relations Department

"That name sounds a bit inappropriate, doesn't it?" A wicked smile appeared on Jiang Shuyi's lips.
"When filming it, do you have to curl your index finger back and forth?"
"Senior sister, I never knew you understood so much."
From the moment she called him daddy, Chen Yuan knew that Jiang Shuyi was not an ordinary person.
Even if you gave her the middle finger, she'd find a way to sit right on it.
"Isn't that standard stuff? But what you said is indeed a good method. As long as you have a little bit of a following, you can turn passivity into initiative, instead of having to look at other people's faces."
"That's exactly what I mean."
"If the two of us shoot together, I could accept it. I understand the tropes inside out, and I'm also a very gentle person."
"Huh? What do you understand?"
"You might be a little tired lately, next time will be better..."
"Damn it, do you automation majors only learn this kind of stuff?"
Automation = Doing it yourself.
Though come to think of it, why wouldn't that count as automation?
"Just kidding. But seriously, people with a heart don't need to be taught; they learn by themselves," Jiang Shuyi said.
"Qi Chen is pretty slick with Douyin, I'll go talk to her tonight when I get back."
They were all in the same college. Even though they weren't in the same major, they would still greet each other when they met, so having a chat wouldn't be a problem.
"Then you should go chat with her. Who knows, you might actually make something out of it."
"Mm."
Jiang Shuyi took out her phone.
"What's your Douyin ID? I'll follow you."
Pulling up the Douyin QR code, Jiang Shuyi scanned it.
"'Can You Still Wipe Ointment When It's Damp?' With a name like that, you're the perfect fit for our External Relations Department."
Chen Yuan looked at the follower list.
"She talks with a bit of a childish streak."
Chen Yuan frowned. This sounded more like the Foreign Aid Department.
"Do you want to follow Jin Yechao's Douyin?"
"Sure, why not."
Jiang Shuyi searched through the list. "This is him: 'What If I Could Be Your Toy Boy for Three Days'."
Confirmed beyond a doubt, there wasn't a single decent person in the External Relations Department.
After finishing the follows, the two arrived downstairs at Building 11, and Jiang Shuyi went upstairs.
Just as Chen Yuan was getting ready to head back to Building 3, he happened to run into Fang Youning and Fan Siyu.
"I'll go first, you two chat slowly."
Fan Siyu was perceptive and made herself scarce first.
"You're just getting back?"
Fang Youning nodded gently. "After you left, there were still matches for Foreign Languages and Economics and Management. Don't worry, you can definitely advance; he's just biased against you."

"Actually, it doesn't matter if I advance or not, participation is what counts. I'm heading off."
"Oh, oh. If you want to know anything about this, you can contact me."
"Yeah, bye."
Chen Yuan walked away, while Fang Youning stared at his retreating back and muttered under her breath.
You don't even have my contact info, how am I supposed to contact you!
I didn't even provoke him, and I even treated him to coffee today—why doesn't he want my contact information?
He also seemed quite reluctant to even talk to me.
Looking a little dispirited, Fang Youning walked toward her dormitory.
Entering the apartment lobby, she saw Fan Siyu waiting for her there.
"Back so soon? Didn't you two chat a little longer?"
"There wasn't much to talk about. We just talked about advancing in the competition and then I came back."
"That's true. Even though Chen Yuan is a bit handsome, you're equally popular and have the luxury of choice."
"Xiaoyu, I want to ask you a question."
"What question? Go ahead."
"Tell me, can you still wipe ointment when it's damp?"
"Huh? What kind of weird question is that?" Fan Siyu muttered, then said:
"If it gets damp, I suppose there shouldn't be any problem? The medicinal effect should still be there, and it's not like it's for treating trauma, so I think you can wipe it—holy crap, wait a minute!"
Fan Siyu suddenly looked at Fang Youning with great excitement.
"Why are you looking at me with that kind of look?"
"Where on earth did you hear such a bizarre question?"
"I was just asking casually, what's wrong?"
"But that's not a decent question. Did someone hit on you?"
"What does this have to do with hitting on me? I just asked casually."
"Read that sentence again carefully."
"Can you still wipe ointment when it's damp..."
Muttering it to herself, Fang Youning still didn't find anything wrong with it.
It wasn't until the second time that she sensed something was amiss, and an intoxicating blush instantly crawled from her earlobes all the way to her cheeks.
She wished she could crawl into a crack in the ground. How could she have asked such a shameful question!
That Chen Yuan was truly hateful. Why would he pick a nickname like that!!
So annoying!!!
"I knew it! Someone definitely used that line to flirt with you. Quick, tell me, who has the nerve to say something like that to hit on you?"
"Really no one, I just happened to see it somewhere and asked you. I'm here, I'm going in first."
Fang Youning scuttled back to her dorm in defeat, muttering as she walked: "Chen Yuan is so annoying."
...
Friday's classes were slack. The first period was Ideological Politics and Law, and the second was Advanced Mathematics.
"Chen Yuan, I heard you ran into some shady behind-the-scenes manipulation yesterday?"
Li Yingying leaned over to ask, and the study committee member Zhang Aiping, sitting right in front of them, also turned her head around to join in on the gossip.
"I had a minor disagreement with Li Dongyang. If they don't let me advance, that's fine too, it doesn't really matter."
"You're the only seedling left in our college. If you get weeded out, the college will score a zero this year, which would be too embarrassing."
"It's all up to fate."
"How about I calculate your fortune? What's your zodiac sign?" Zhang Aiping asked.
"That stuff is so generic even a dog could match two of them, spare me the fortune-telling."
Zhang Aiping pushed up her glasses. "You boys just like to view horoscopes through colored glasses, but they are actually very accurate."
"Right! When it comes to things like horoscopes, you'd rather believe they exist than not. Don't be biased, let the study commissioner calculate it for you, maybe you'll get a chance to defy the heavens and change your destiny," Li Yingying said.
"That's just the Barnum effect. How about I calculate yours? It'll be accurate too."
"Fine, go ahead and calculate mine," Zhang Aiping said.
"What's your zodiac sign?"
"Cancer. My ascendant sign is..."
"No need to say too much, just knowing you're a Cancer is enough."
Chen Yuan interrupted Zhang Aiping and looked at Li Yingying.
"What's your sign? I'm an Aries."
"I'll calculate it for you right now."
Chen Yuan played with his fingers with an air of profound mastery.
"Cancers will eat when they are hungry, and Aries will drink water when they are thirsty. Am I accurate or what?"
"Everything you're saying is nonsense, that's not how horoscopes work," Zhang Aiping said.
"Alright, let me recalculate for you then. You're a Cancer, right?"
Chen Yuan cleared his throat and, while looking at his phone, said:
"You are someone who appears strong on the outside but is stubborn on the inside. When dealing with certain things, you'd rather carry the burden yourself than tell anyone else."
"Sometimes your emotions run high and you believe everything in the universe is connected to you, but by nightfall, you grow desolate and downcast, feeling like the world is full of malice toward you."
"You are kind-hearted at core and have been hurt in relationships. There are people you genuinely dislike, but you won't spell it out clearly, so you end up avoiding interpersonal interactions and turning cold. I'll just say this much for now—tell me if what I said is right or wrong."
Zhang Aiping's expression grew excited.
"How did you nail it so accurately? What method did you use to calculate this?"
Chen Yuan looked at Li Yingying. "Did any of it hit home for you?"
"I... I seem to be like that too..."
Both girls looked at Chen Yuan with curiosity. "Is your family from the northern provinces? Did you practice shamanistic spirit-medium stuff?"
"Those are symptoms of depression and schizophrenia. I just filtered out a few bullet points, don't take my word for it, look it up yourselves."
"Damn it! Are you even human?!"