Chapter Twenty-Two: Assessing the Situation

It turns out that my current line of work is much easier than dealing in seafood—it's a bit like taxi drivers waiting outside a hotel for fares. The work is light, and I started thinking about picking up a side hustle. That morning, I suddenly remembered I still hadn't settled accounts with Brother Zong from years ago. I should go find him—clear up our debts and see if I could reconnect, maybe get back to supplying him with seafood. After all, I still have some connections in that business. After a brief consideration, I grabbed the phone and called Ma Liu's cell.

As soon as Ma Liu heard it was me, he was so excited he could barely form sentences. “Ah, ah, ah! Kuan, Brother Kuan, you…you're actually alive? Hurry, come find me, I've been itching all over thinking about you.” I didn't waste time with him; I grabbed Daguang and headed straight for the train station.

It was already noon by the time we reached Jinan. We found a simple restaurant to grab something to eat, and then I called Ma Liu. When he heard I was already in Jinan, he exclaimed, “Great, brother, wait at the train station, I'll bring people over right away to kidnap you!”

I told him not to bother picking me up, I’d go to Brother Zong’s restaurant myself to settle our old accounts.

Ma Liu blurted, “Why are you looking for Brother Zong? He’s gone into hiding, you should come to me first.”

I was startled: “Hiding? Brother Zong got into trouble?”

Ma Liu replied, “A few days ago, he was out on business and someone shot at him on the road—came this close to killing him. Who did it? The same bastards who owe him money.”

“Like the poor going after the rich? Nonsense! So Brother Zong just ran off before he was even dead? That’s not his style—the owner shouldn't be the one fleeing while the thieves stick around.” I joked.

Ma Liu said, “What are you thinking? Brother Zong’s not the type to get scared off. Here’s what happened: after the shooting, they thought he was dead and took off without checking. Brother Zong spent a few days in the hospital, and after he got out, he sent people after them. But in the process, someone was killed, so now the police are all over Jinan looking for him. He had no choice but to lay low for a while, but he’ll be back soon. He wasn’t the one who did the killing, someone else took the fall. Don’t ask so much, what good will it do you? Just get over here—I’m at the karaoke lounge, and I’ve got something to discuss with you.”

I said, “What is it? Give me a hint first, or I’m not coming. I don’t want to get dragged into some mess.”

Ma Liu laughed, “You greedy tycoon, I’m not borrowing money from you. Just get here, and we’ll talk.”

I hailed a cab, gave the address to the driver, and turned to Daguang with a sigh. “Nowhere is peaceful—none of us in this line of work have it easy.”

Daguang agreed, nodding. “That’s the way it is, but if you really want peace, you have to stick your head between your legs and act like you’re nobody.”

I laughed, “Who taught you that? According to you, everyone else is a hunchback?”

Daguang replied, “Even if you’re not a hunchback, you’ve got to pass through their world first—be a lackey before you can be your own man. Things used to be better—you could just be yourself without having to bow and scrape.”

He was right. Life was so much freer before. I understood how all those so-called good people lived—they’d work themselves to the bone for a year, and still wouldn’t make what I did in a day, and they had to swallow their pride. As for those with status and power, which one of them didn’t start out as someone’s lackey before they could stand tall? Of course, some didn’t have to go through that, but that’s because they had powerful fathers—officials, tycoons, men who’d worked their way up from nothing.

Even though I’d suffered plenty, I always lived with my head held high. In prison, I endured a lot, but I never bowed to anyone. My life now isn’t as wild as it used to be, but it’s at least steady. Still, I feel fulfilled. The hardships of life are condensed for me—I’ll make my first pot of gold as fast as possible, and lay the foundation for a peaceful future. Thinking this way made my blood boil—I believed I would never end up like those who came before me, falling or fading away. I’d always stand atop the highest wave.

I pictured the scene: once the living have buried the dead, the dead will lie there forever, and the living must straighten their backs and move forward. I am the living among countless dead—I will live on, always walking the thorny path toward the mountain, where wildflowers bloom.

Jinan seemed to have just seen a heavy rain, and the wind blowing in through the car window was damp and chilly, biting against my freshly shaved scalp.

Suddenly, Lin Meimei’s wan face floated through my mind, making my heart flutter with confusion.

I remembered Wang Jiao once told me that Lin Meimei had been with a chef before, and after she left me, she went to him.

All these years, I thought she must have married that chef, Li De, but she hadn’t. She left the city altogether.

That day, Lin Meimei tracked me down, standing outside a noisy hair salon below my apartment, nervously twisting the end of her braid, gazing at me with eyes as soft as smoke. “Brother Kuan, I’m leaving. Thank you for taking care of me that year… I know I don’t have the right to come see you, but I can’t let go. Before I leave, I had to say goodbye.”

I was afraid she’d ask to get back together. I didn’t have the courage to pick up where we left off. I asked, “Where are you going?”

She lowered her eyes. “Li De got arrested, and I don’t know when he’ll be out. I want to go back home for a while. I’m tired, really tired.”

I didn’t even know where her hometown was—her accent suggested it was the suburbs. I said nothing, feeling empty and at a loss for words, just staring at her as if trying to imprint her image in my mind forever. Our wild moments together kept flashing before my eyes, making it hard to breathe.

“Isn’t it good living here?” I asked, struggling not to cry. “I already found someone to help Li De, it wasn’t a big crime, he’ll be out soon.”

“Brother Kuan, you don’t need to concern yourself with him… it’s useless.” Lin Meimei’s tears fell, splattering on the ground.

I vaguely remembered that day at Kuai Bin’s karaoke bar. As I was leaving, Lin Meimei came out from a corner and grabbed my arm. Her expression was numb, and she gave me a faint smile. “Brother Kuan, you’re here too?” I couldn’t remember what I said to her, only that she told me Li De was no longer a chef at that restaurant. He’d been caught snatching handbags on the street and was now in detention.

I sobered up a bit. “So you’re working here now?”

She shrugged off my hand. “Why not? Aren’t you here having fun too? I’m bringing you all some happiness.” My mind was in a jumble. “How could you do this? You’re a good girl, don’t you know that?”

She stepped aside. “I’ve been working here for a while, even going out with clients.” I didn’t believe her. “Are you that short on money?”

She cried. “My brother got into university and needs tuition. My father’s old, can’t work anymore, and we lost our land…”

I couldn’t take it. On impulse, I called Tang Xiangdong and told him a friend of mine had been caught snatching a purse, asking what could be done. Tang Xiangdong shouted, “What do you mean, what can be done? The law is the law!”

Lin Meimei, live well… Watching her walk away, I felt an unspeakable sadness.

I remember I didn’t eat dinner that night and slept until it was dark. Lying on the dimly lit bed, I stared wide-eyed at the ceiling, wondering: everyone has their own path in life—where is Lin Meimei’s? Where is mine? There must be a place for me in this world, just like I always believe there’s a beautiful land ahead waiting for me to claim it, but I don’t know how to get there. Maybe I missed the way as soon as I started walking. How am I supposed to finish the road ahead?

I sat up, leaned over the window, and gazed aimlessly at the street in the distance. Night had fallen, the crowds were gone, the cars at rest. The streetlights cast a brilliant glow, the moon had lost its luster.

See how bright the evening stars are, shining gold; see how beautiful the little boat is, floating on the sea; the breeze stirs the surface, gentle waves ripple…

Beneath a neon sign on the roadside, a man was singing.

I noticed the calloused skin on his feet in his leather sandals, curled up like a sharp blade.

The roads in Jinan are smooth and the car made barely any noise as we drove—it sounded like the faint buzzing of mosquitoes. I closed my eyes and thought about that time I had Zheng Kui and the others come to Jinan to abduct Ma Liu. I remember when Ma Liu was brought to Yantai, I was there. Back then, Zheng Kui was in high spirits, pressing a black hunting rifle to Ma Liu’s head, demanding, “You trying to play dumb with us?” Ma Liu leapt over the wall and ran, and Zheng Kui vaulted after him, agile as ever…

The buzzing of mosquitoes circled my face, then slowly changed into a far-off moan, growing clearer and more mournful, like Zheng Kui singing one of those prison ballads… I could hear nothing else, just that voice echoing endlessly in my ears.

Brother, are you really dead?

All I could see was Zheng Kui—sometimes behind Jia Guan, sometimes beside me. My heart wavered and I almost asked the driver to stop; I wanted to find a deserted place and have a good cry. I patted the driver's shoulder and asked him to pull over.

The driver said, “We’re only ten meters away, why get out now?”

I looked up. Sure enough, Ma Liu was standing outside his karaoke bar in a bright red suit, scanning the street. He’d gotten even fatter over the years—less like a pig, more like a bear. The driver asked, “Are we going or stopping?” I said, “Stop here, I see my buddy.” As I spoke, the car stopped beside Ma Liu, who strode over.

“Yo!” Ma Liu shouted before I could get out. “Damn, you’re even skinnier! You look like a fisherman.”

“Liuzi, I heard you missed me?” Daguang got out first and gave Ma Liu a hearty slap on the chest.

“Damn you, Daguang, you still dare hit people in Jinan?” Ma Liu stepped back playfully, striking a mantis pose. “Come on, let’s spar!”

“Enough already, who does that?” I paid the driver, closed the door, and grinned at Ma Liu. “Never fight the tired—everyone knows that.”

“Kuan, I missed you so much,” Ma Liu lunged over, hugging me and thumping my back hard. “It’s been years, brother, years! We finally meet again.”

I pushed him off as we walked toward the karaoke bar. “What was that thing you wanted to discuss?”

Ma Liu slung an arm over my shoulder like a black bear and whispered, “Not really to discuss—more to report. Lazy Eye Lan came to see me. He wants to rent my place again.”

Lazy Eye Lan wants to come back to Jinan? That’s impossible. I was surprised. “When did this happen?”

Ma Liu nodded to a waiter to arrange a room and answered, “He left just yesterday. I was puzzled too—why would he come to me again?”

Sitting in a dimly lit private room, Ma Liu explained that two days earlier, he’d been chatting in his clothing shop when Lazy Eye Lan walked in, looking like he’d struck it rich—dressed up like a cream cake. Ma Liu was stunned. “Brother Eye, I paid you back years ago. What do you want this time? If you keep pestering me, I’ll turn against you.” Lazy Eye Lan smiled. “You’re overthinking it, Liuzi. I’m not here for money—I need your help.”

Ma Liu didn’t want to waste words, so he asked what it was. Lazy Eye Lan said his clothing business had hit a rough patch—the trends changed too fast where he was, and he couldn’t keep up. He wanted to come back to Jinan, and after looking around, he still thought the shop Ma Liu rented him before was the best spot. Before he could finish, Ma Liu cut him off. “That’s not my place anymore, just leave it.” But Lazy Eye Lan wouldn’t take no for an answer and insisted on renting it, saying the price was negotiable. Ma Liu got annoyed and walked out. Yesterday, Lan came back again.

“Oh, so that’s it?” I took a sip of tea. “If it’s your place, just rent it to him.”

“Heh, to be honest, it is still mine—but I have my reasons for not wanting to rent to him.”

“Still mad about me?” I joked.

“Not at all,” Ma Liu leaned in, voice low. “I suspect that guy isn’t up to anything legit.”

Ma Liu went on: yesterday, Lazy Eye Lan insisted on treating him to dinner. Ma Liu gave in and suggested they go to Brother Zong’s restaurant for the seafood. Over drinks, Ma Liu remarked, “I saw the old shop—now it’s a hardware store, half dead. Bet they’re behind on rent, huh?” That was exactly the case—the southerner running the hardware store hadn’t paid rent in over six months, and Ma Liu was planning to kick him out. He thought, since Lan was so sincere, if Lan added three thousand, he’d evict the southerner and rent to him.

Lan agreed right away. After they settled on the handover date, Lan excused himself to make a phone call. Ma Liu, growing suspicious, had a waiter he knew eavesdrop. The waiter later told him that the man—who looked like Captain Yun from “Legend of Huo Yuanjia”—hid in the bathroom and told someone on the phone: “We’ve got enough money this time, the goods from Guangxi will arrive soon. I just rented a storefront in a prime location—no one will suspect. Don’t worry.” Ma Liu was stunned—this clearly wasn’t about clothes. He pretended to get drunk, tore up the agreement, and went to sleep elsewhere.

“Really?” I was surprised. “Lan’s as timid as a mouse, almost an honest guy. How could he be involved in something illegal?”

“Honest, my ass,” Ma Liu retorted. “You know why I used to hassle him? He’s sly, always scheming, taking advantage of anyone he can.”

“I’m not sure about that,” I tried to recall stories about Lan. “Everyone from our street knows him. Besides his loose tongue, he’s harmless.”

“Brother, people change,” Ma Liu called for drinks. “You haven’t really dealt with him in years—you don’t know what he’s thinking.”

“Well…” remembering his business with Jinlong back in the day, I said, “You’re right, he did act a little off the first time I was inside.”

“That’s nothing,” Ma Liu grumbled. “He’s burned me more than once in Jinan…”

My mind was a mess. I didn’t want to talk about Lan anymore, so I changed the subject. “I heard someone named Wang Jiaguan from our neighborhood comes to Jinan a lot?”

Ma Liu confirmed it. “It’s true. Since Brother Zong controls the tobacco business here, they’ve been in touch a while. Brother Zong knows all about you two.”

I laughed. “Our big boss joining hands with yours—business is bound to boom.”

Ma Liu sneered, “Yeah right. I’ve seen your so-called boss—he’s just a laborer, and a one-eyed one at that. No presence at all.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Did Du Yuesheng have presence? He looked like a monkey but still ran Shanghai. People like Jiaguan have substance.”

Ma Liu snorted. “Substance? Look at who he associates with—a bunch of sharp-faced, monkey-like guys. I wouldn’t even want them tying my shoes.”

Ma Liu said that Jiaguan often brought a fierce-looking giant to Jinan, a man older than he was. They’d hole up in a teahouse run by an old gangster named Huai Shui and never come out. Once, Jiaguan called Brother Zong for drinks. Zong didn’t want to go, worried it would lower his status, but finally relented and took Ma Liu along.

Jiaguan didn’t know about my connection with Ma Liu and launched into a tearful denunciation of “the villain” Zhang Kuan, vowing a blood feud—not stopping until one of us was dead. Brother Zong tried to mediate, saying, “All Zhang Kuan did was have Zheng Kui mess with your business. No need for this. If he’s doing well now, I’ll help you two settle it—have him pay you a bit and call it even.” Jiaguan insisted it wasn’t about money. “When I was inside, Zhang Kuan and Zheng Kui ruined my business. My brothers won’t follow me anymore, my reputation’s gone. How can this be fixed?” Brother Zong didn’t want to get involved, so he fell silent. Jiaguan, getting more worked up, drank himself into a stupor within the hour, declaring, “Jinan’s brothers are good—straightforward, even if you have to pay. Tell Zhang Kuan to watch out, soon I’ll get him.”

“Where’s Huai Shui’s teahouse?” I forced down my anger and asked Wuzi as gently as I could. “What Zheng Kui did is none of my business—Jiaguan’s just being unreasonable.”

“Not far. Cross the street in front of the karaoke bar, it’s right beside a farmer’s market—a rough crowd.”

“Alright,” I patted Ma Liu’s hand. “Send someone over to see if Jiaguan’s there today. If so, I’ll deal with him today.”

“Are you crazy?” Ma Liu’s eyes went wide. “You want to get me in trouble? If anything happens, it’s on me.”

“I won’t cause you trouble. If I do anything, it won’t be here. I’ll take him out of town and break his legs—don’t worry.”

Ma Liu stared at me for a while, then shook his head. “Can’t you just hang out for a few days and wait for Brother Zong to come back?”

My mind was a mess. I had only one thought: I had to settle things with Jiaguan as soon as possible, or I’d never have peace of mind.

I drank some tea and stood up. “Not helping? Fine, I’ll go myself. Let’s go, Daguang.”

Ma Liu grabbed me. “Come on, come on! I never said I wouldn’t help. It’s just checking if someone’s there.” He left and returned soon. “Alright, I sent someone. But listen, Kuan, take my advice—if you can solve this peacefully, do it. We’ve both done time—we don’t want to go back. Why do I keep in touch with you? Because having friends means having options—especially friends like you who are doing well. You know how great life outside is? If you go back inside, how will you enjoy it? We’ve both got a foundation now—why throw it away? Jiaguan can make all the threats he wants, but would he really risk his future? He’s just venting. Don’t let his barking distract you from your own life. Listen to me, don’t go head to head—outsmart him instead! If you want to know where he is, I’ll help, and when Brother Zong returns, we’ll take care of him one by one. The guys Jiaguan’s bringing along are scared stiff of Brother Zong—one word and they’re done.”

“Liuzi, it’s not that simple,” I said. “This grudge can’t be settled with a few words.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean you should just ‘deal with’ him. Think it through first—come on, let’s drink.”

“Don’t try to talk me out of it,” I said, slumping on the couch with a drink. “Now that we’re talking about him, I can’t let it go. Let’s see if he’s there first.”

“Fine, do what you want—just don’t drag me into it, I’m scared,” Ma Liu said with a helpless smile.

We had a few more drinks, and Ma Liu went out shaking his head. Daguang nudged me. “Boss, are you really going to deal with that little bastard in Jinan?”

I smiled. “Depends. If he’s here, we’ll nab him—take him out of town and break his legs.”

Daguang lowered his head, eager for action. “Sure! Just say the word—let’s borrow a gun from Liuzi and cripple him.”

I stopped him from grabbing another drink. “No more—people up to serious business shouldn’t drink.”

Daguang pried my hand off. “You don’t get it, Kuan. Without booze I don’t have the guts—liquor gives heroes their courage.”

Ma Liu returned, looking relieved. “Ha! Your plan’s foiled—Jiaguan isn’t here, he went back yesterday.”

For some reason, I felt relieved too. “Good… That’s better. Daguang, drink all you want, get drunk.”

Ma Liu sat down, drank with Daguang, and patted my shoulder. “How about a girl to unwind?”

Yang Bo’s face flashed through my mind and I shuddered. “Maybe another time, I’m not in the mood.”

Ma Liu grumbled, “Not in the mood? Who are you kidding… I don’t believe you’re a eunuch. Come on, this isn’t the place for drinks—let’s go to Brother Zong’s.”

“Didn’t you say he’s not around? What’s the point?” I stayed put.

“He’s not here, but I didn’t say I can’t reach him,” Ma Liu said, pulling me up. “Come on, I’ll let you meet him.”

“Really? If you’re lying, I’ll beat you up,” I said, getting up and grabbing his arm. “Forgot my skills?”

“Please, what skills? Anyone can wrestle.” Ma Liu stepped back and showed off a martial arts move. “Now this is real skill.”

His panting made me laugh. “Tired already? Show me again if you’ve got it.”

Ma Liu raised his leg, shook his head, and walked away. “Why should I listen to you?”

Daguang caught up, twisted Ma Liu’s arm, and threw him at the door. “Try bragging again!”

Ma Liu hopped up, glaring at Daguang, the veins on his neck bulging. “You serious? Help me up—an ambush doesn’t count.”

I could see Ma Liu was a little embarrassed and didn’t want things to get heated, so I kicked Daguang. “Apologize to Liuzi.”

Ma Liu laughed. “See, Kuan gets it… Daguang, it’s not that I can’t beat you—it’s just that you’re a guest.”

Daguang realized he’d gone too far and sheepishly helped Ma Liu up. “When you come to our place, I’ll let you beat me up.”

As we left the karaoke bar, I said, “Let’s walk for a bit—riding all day makes me dizzy.”

Ma Liu grinned. “What, want to check out Jiaguan’s base?”

I nodded. “If we’re passing by, might as well take a look.”

Ma Liu pointed at a fork in the road. “Cross there and turn right—it’s just beside.”

It was a five-story building; the upper floors looked like offices, with the teahouse below, the entrance decorated like a Korean restaurant. Two women in ethnic dress stood at the door. Several burly men lounged nearby, clearly there to keep watch. The place seemed busy—probably with shady dealings inside.

I didn’t go in, just glanced at the glass door from afar. Inside, it was quiet. A red carpet ran to a wide staircase at the back. I imagined Jiaguan coming down the stairs right then, me rushing in and shooting him, the air filling with bright red…

I chuckled, hailed a cab, and shouted to Ma Liu, “Brother, I can’t walk anymore!”